John is seven weeks old today. Last week I had my follow-up midwife appointment. I had to get on that scale again. This time I looked at the numbers. And they mattered to me.
I worked so hard for the last few years to get myself fit again after having Lucy. I was down to a skinny weight and I ran two half marathons last summer for the love. I was FIT. And now here I am at another starting point. I'm 30 pounds overweight (again), and I'm eating whatever I can eat with one hand while the other arm is occupied with a newborn who still widely refuses to be set down. I decided that John's being a cuddle monkey, or having a newborn at all, or having two kids, is no excuse for not taking better care of myself.
I can't fit into my "fat" pre-pregnancy clothes; I'm still living in my maternity yoga pants and t-shirts. I don't ever want to go shopping again and face those dressing room mirrors that show a lumpy-looking me in an enormous size (postpartum hormones and dressing rooms DO NOT MIX. I should know that. And yet.).
Now, don't get me wrong. I pushed a baby out seven short weeks ago, and I'm pretty proud of my body for doing that. But now I'm saying, thank you, fat, for taking care of my baby and my pregnant body, but I don't need you any more! I've made a conscious decision to give myself a little more room and time so that this doesn't end up being a body-image downer, and instead I can focus on running and being fit again and fueling an athlete's body.
I've decided that for the month of June, I'm going to eat a vegetarian diet. I want to do this for a few reasons: a) we don't eat that much meat anyway so it's not that much of a stretch, b) to see if I can, c) to kick myself into an eating healthily again focusing on fruits and veggies, and d) to force myself to find some new and interesting vegetarian recipes to add to our boring recipe repertoire.
My saintly husband looked at me sideways when I made this announcement and said "Does that mean we ALL have to be vegetarians?" I promised him I'd come up with some really interesting recipes and we could reassess what he thought of it in a week or two. So far, I think we're in for some good stuff this week including this casserole among other things.
I'm also gearing myself up to start seriously running again with the ginormous double stroller. FYI two kids and a stroller are HEAVY. I'm going to be seriously buff if I can do my old 35 miles/week distances with this thing. Right now it's all I can do to huff and puff a mile.
But! You gotta start somewhere! And that's where I am.