Oh! Um, hi. It's been a while. I don't even know where to start, it's been so long.
I spent a week (or more, it may or may not be ongoing!) in a super crabby, emotional funk. Partly brought on by the stay-at-home weather, partly by the boundary-testing toddler, but mostly the combination of the two. I've been a little more tired lately at week 23+, and a little less agile. Pair that with a toddler who constantly dares me to react to her purposeful naughtiness just is a shit storm if you'll pardon my French.
Award winning parenting going on up in here, in other words.
Lucy is more of a challenge than she ever has been. I'll tell her one thing, and she'll look me in the eye and do the exact opposite. And then she'll either run away (because she knows I'm not as quick anymore!) or just stand there and face off with me. I'm running out of threatening faces. I think she might have spent most of the day in Time Out yesterday. Which also bites, because she SEEMS to get time out. She treats it right, she doesn't like it, she SEEMS to understand the lesson and straighten up afterward. But at the same time, it's like she doesn't CARE right now. Like Time Out is worth kicking her toy across the room or ripping the ornament off the tree or throwing Mama's perfume in the hamper. Sigh.
I just hate days that seem to jump from one form of discipline to another instead of enjoying whatever the day brings. I just really hope this phase passes quickly.
The only thing that seems to save both of our sanities is an Art Project. Ever since the Thankful Tree, Lucy asks to do an art project every single day. I'm totally ok with this. I'm all for it, actually, but after two weeks I'm kinda running thin on ideas! We did a gingerbread house,
made ornaments, colored countless pictures, decorated construction paper Christmas trees, made cookies, meticulously filled the Advent calendar, colored more pictures, made a hand-print wreath. I have learned that I was not really cut out for pre-school project-ing. The messes! Our dining table has been a repository for the random miscellany of these projects lately, and I am so tired I just shove it to one side and slide our chairs closer together to eat dinner at the other end.
In other news, I'm about done with the Christmas shopping! The godchildren are all taken care of, and so is Lucy's name exchange cousin. The Bubba already got his gift from me and Lucy - a new winter coat (he looks like a grown-up with appropriate winter attire!), and I have a couple things to slip into his stocking too.
Lucy, though, I don't know about. I have some little things to put in her stocking too, a little puzzle, some warm socks, beads to string on a necklace, bubble bath. But I can't pull the trigger on an actual gift for her. We wanted to get her a CD player for her play space so I wouldn't have to live through her playlist on the kitchen radio any more. But I can't find one that I like - slash - am willing to pay the price they're asking for it. I mean, I like this mp3 player, but... I don't know. So now I'm kinda wondering if we should just wait and not get her anything. Maybe pick up something in the after Christmas sales? But how can we not have a gift from Mommy and Daddy for my baby to open under the tree? (Truth is, she'll be happy as happy with the wrapped bottle of bubble bath as with anything else.) Whatever. She's naughty and I'm ambivalent. Obviously I need the Bubba to make this call.
(Do you have ideas for me? What are you buying for the 2 year olds in your life?)
And then me. You know, I loooove Christmas. I love twinkling lights and the hopeful anticipation of the season. I love thinking of the perfect gifts to wrap and then watching other people's joy in opening them. But I don't love getting presents. Like, at all. The Bubba keeps asking me what I want for Christmas, and the absolute truth is that I don't want a single thing. Weird, right? But I never know what I want to ask for, and the idea of a thing is always so much awesomer than the thing itself for me. Sure, I wouldn't mind having a stand mixer or some fancy softy-soft jammies or a new sewing machine. But really? I don't NEED those things, and that gives me Gift Guilt. And the guilt is worse than the happiness at having a new THING. Don't like.
Um anyway, I think I just put a damper on my already stupid crabby post. So maybe I should just hang up the keyboard now.
I'm contemplating going to the pool with Lucy tomorrow. So, you know, there's that. I'll just go ahead and try again tomorrow.