This process has been so interesting to me, as a non-athlete. I have no idea of what I'm doing, no idea of how to proceed. I've read three or four books about road racing and training to get an idea of what I should be doing. They've helped for sure - I can tell when my form is sagging from fatigue and dial it in, and I use my shorter runs to practice better technique. But right now, in the middle of my training when I know things are just going to get harder, I wish I had a coach.
I suppose this stems from my Want To Do It Right The First Time disease. I want to be a good runner. I know cerebrally that I will to do my best and consider it an accomplishment. It really is sort of a paradox between those two schools of thought in my brain. I want to go to the starting line of my race and feel good, and I want to FINISH 13.1 miles. The more I run, the more it seems possible, and then I not only want to finish, I want to DO WELL. I want to have a good finishing time, I want to do it like I know what I'm doing instead of showing up and following the crowd.
I still have two weeks before my One Year of Running anniversary. I started the couch to 5k program at the end of last February. I like running. I like the way it feels, but more than that, I like the planet-halting sense of achievement from being better/faster/stronger than I ever thought possible.
I have to remember that this is just fun.