Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Day 11

I went for a very painful run today. I did about 30 minutes of hills. Not huge hills, but they were big enough to kick my butt. Which I guess really isn't saying much. I'm trying really hard to stay on track with training and being smart about food, but it is so dang hard right now. The remaining active is relatively easy. I mean, just getting outside and putting my ear buds in is incredibly freeing. With Lucy strapped in her jogger with some snacks, she's good to go boat/duck/bike/dog spotting, and I'm free to think about whatever I want. And mostly it's whatever radio program I downloaded - Wait Wait or Whad'ya Know. I get to think about grown-up things and laugh at grown-up jokes. So nice.

But the eating. Oh, the eating. I went to the store this afternoon to get some big girl underpants for my shortie, and ended up with a cart full of junk food. We had a delicious dinner of Morning Star chik'n nuggets, banana, and some monkey bread that I've been craving for about eighteen years. I made the sauce with fresh blueberries that were on sale this week. I can safely say that I ate the equivalent of a couple of meals' worth of calories of that bread tonight. What is this "moderation" thing anyway. I don't get it. (But the monkey bread. SOOOOO GOOOD STILLLLL CALLLLINNG ME.)

I'm pretty sure I'm a boredom eater. If I've got things going on, no problem. And usually if I run in the morning, I have the mentality of "Well, I don't want all that work I did to be for nothing" and I can keep things in check. But lately? Not so much. The moment Lu goes to bed my nose is in the fridge every five minutes eating anything from cold leftover pizza (another gourmet meal right there) to rice crackers to Lucy's cookie treats. And let me just go ahead and reiterate: not hungry in the least.

So you know how, if you recognize some behavior, that's the first step in changing it? Not so much with me. At least right now. Talk about exhausted. I'm emotionally and physically exhausted from 24/7 with a 17-almost-18-month-old who likes sitting on the potty and demands to go diaper-free without my husband around for moral support.

For fun today, I scrubbed the bathroom. I figured what the hell? We're spending so much time in there anyway lately I might as well stop giving the stink eye to the hair ball cowering in the corner and do something about it. It's nice. I'm thinking it might be nice to do the kitchen too, and maybe change the sheets in the bedroom and make everything fresh and new for when the Bubba gets home (IN JUST A FEW VERY SHORT DAYS - inshallah - OMG!).

But that would seriously cut into my shoving-food-at-my-facial-orifice time.


Elizabeth said...

I am such a boredom eater, it's terrible. But you get mad props for going out and running hills no matter what!
I love how I can use the bathroom for a week and think "This bathroom is so disgusting" without it ever occurring to me to clean it. You're ahead of me on that one, and my husband isn't a million miles away!

Manda said...