Last Saturday my sweet Bubba organized a cook out with a bunch of friends to bring the thirtieth birthday celebrations to a close. He made red velvet cupcakes and we played ball in the yard. I sipped chilled pink wine and enjoyed the crowd in my yard playing in the sun. A good time was had by all.
I’m not really sure what Lucy ate on Friday, but her Saturday dirty diaper (the girl is regular) was pretty stinky. Even to me. The Bubba’s usually the one that complains of the stench, while it usually doesn’t bother me at all. So this stinky mess? STINKY.
So stinky, in fact, that her room still smelled like poo that evening. And that? Is some powerful stink to linger around. The smell seemed to be attaching itself to the very molecular matter of Lucy’s room to become this room-odor compound never to be separated again.
Even on Sunday when I got home from work at 4:30, her room was STILL SMELLY. Maybe even MORE SMELLY. The Bubba had removed all the cloth diapers, all the bedding, the changing pad, EVERYTHING that could possibly have been pooed on with no evidence of poo. He had opened the windows and turned on a fan. And it still smelled. I was wondering where this invisible poo was stashed, because to be honest, it smelled like a dog and his owner both had done their business all over Lu’s carpet.
I finally had enough. “It STILL smells like somebody too a big dump in here, yeah?” I asked my Bubba, “It’s not just me.” He had to agree when he went in there and his nose hairs burned and tears stung his eyes.
I went into the scene to sniff out the culprit. Maybe a dirty diaper had fallen behind the changing table? No. Perhaps under the crib? Nope. I sniffed around like a bloodhound until I found it. The STINK. It manifested as a very dirty diaper in the unused and forgotten Diaper Genie in the corner. That must not have been clear to a fellow barbequer Saturday afternoon. (Which I totally understand! I see a Diaper Genie in a nursery? I assume that’s where the diapers go!)
Solved! Lucy wasn’t having some sort of battle with her intestinal tract! It was toddler poo! And after the entire contraption was out of the room (and aired out in the yard overnight. That was some powerful PeeYew), it started smelling a little more like clean sheets and a little less like excrement.
I made my daughter sleep in a room that smelled like crap for 24 hours before identifying that there was actually poo fermenting in the corner. Poor kid. Years from now, she’ll be telling her therapist about how she slept in outhouse as a baby.
Oh, and the Diaper Genie? It now lives in the closet.