Mystery Poo

Last Saturday my sweet Bubba organized a cook out with a bunch of friends to bring the thirtieth birthday celebrations to a close.  He made red velvet cupcakes and we played ball in the yard.  I sipped chilled pink wine and enjoyed the crowd in my yard playing in the sun.  A good time was had by all.

I’m not really sure what Lucy ate on Friday, but her Saturday dirty diaper (the girl is regular) was pretty stinky.  Even to me.  The Bubba’s usually the one that complains of the stench, while it usually doesn’t bother me at all.  So this stinky mess?  STINKY.

So stinky, in fact, that her room still smelled like poo that evening.  And that?  Is some powerful stink to linger around.  The smell seemed to be attaching itself to the very molecular matter of Lucy’s room to become this room-odor compound never to be separated again.

Even on Sunday when I got home from work at 4:30, her room was STILL SMELLY.  Maybe even MORE SMELLY.  The Bubba had removed all the cloth diapers, all the bedding, the changing pad, EVERYTHING that could possibly have been pooed on with no evidence of poo.  He had opened the windows and turned on a fan.  And it still smelled.  I was wondering where this invisible poo was stashed, because to be honest, it smelled like a dog and his owner both had done their business all over Lu’s carpet.

I finally had enough. “It STILL smells like somebody too a big dump in here, yeah?” I asked my Bubba, “It’s not just me.”  He had to agree when he went in there and his nose hairs burned and tears stung his eyes. 

I went into the scene to sniff out the culprit.  Maybe a dirty diaper had fallen behind the changing table?  No.  Perhaps under the crib?  Nope.  I sniffed around like a bloodhound until I found it.  The STINK.  It manifested as a very dirty diaper in the unused and forgotten Diaper Genie in the corner.  That must not have been clear to a fellow barbequer Saturday afternoon.  (Which I totally understand!  I see a Diaper Genie in a nursery?  I assume that’s where the diapers go!) 

Solved!  Lucy wasn’t having some sort of battle with her intestinal tract!  It was toddler poo!  And after the entire contraption was out of the room (and aired out in the yard overnight.  That was some powerful PeeYew), it started smelling a little more like clean sheets and a little less like excrement.

I made my daughter sleep in a room that smelled like crap for 24 hours before identifying that there was actually poo fermenting in the corner.  Poor kid.  Years from now, she’ll be telling her therapist about how she slept in outhouse as a baby.

Oh, and the Diaper Genie?  It now lives in the closet.

More Birthday Goodness

Thursday night, my actual birthday and after the zoo debacle, the Bubba’s idea was to get me to put on a pretty dress and take me out to a fancy dinner to make me feel pretty and spoiled.  I'm not a huge fan of surprises.  So, I grilled him when he got home with questions all about who he got to babysit (“Is it ___?” “No.” “It’s not _____, is it??” “No, no.” “You better just tell me.”) and what kind of food we were going for.

So he finally succumbed to my torture and told me his plan was to take me to Ponti which is a fancy-pants fish restaurant on the other side of the canal.  I do love me some seafood, but I didn’t really want to spend upwards of $100 on dinner.  Just going out the two of us ALONE (which btw has happened approximately once since Lucy was born – the other two times we’ve been out were for parties) was a big enough deal.  So we decided to try La Carta de Oaxaca in Ballard. Have you been there? HIGHLY recommend. AND we only paid $50 for appetizer, drinks and dinner. Also HIGHLY recommended? The margaritas. OMG mine was delicious. Then we went to the Cupcake Royale for dessert.

Over his Carrot cupcake and my Original, the Bubba handed me an envelope. I was thinking it was a gift certificate to somewhere so I could pick out one of the things I’ve been dropping not-so-subtle hints about for the past three weeks. But that’s not what was in there. No, my Bubba couldn’t have gotten me the $18 necklace from Urban Outfitters or the other one that I totally love from Anthropologie with Lucy's initial on it. Have I mentioned that he had already bought me some running pants and new running shoes? I wasn’t expecting much.

Except that it WAS much. It was a voucher. Which explained that I’m going away to Sacramento in September to meet Elizabeth. And Manda. And Emily. And I’m going with Maggie. My Bubba booked a flight and a hotel room. And I’m going to go away for the weekend to meet awesome girls and drink copious amounts of wine and sleep in a bed that someone else makes and no one else sleeps in (those two nights anyway).

I couldn’t eat any more of my cupcake because I was crying. I ’m sure I made a bit of a scene in the shop.  And the first words out of my mouth were “I can’t do this!”

I was partly crying because the present was so far outside of my expectations.  Partly because I had already gone through the decision process about the “Blathering” and concluded that it would probably not be a wise use of our funds at this point.  Partly because I didn’t feel like I deserved it.  Partly because I really, really wanted it and what’s to make a woman feel guiltier than wanting a weekend away from her husband and baby?

And I still kind of have mini panic attacks about it.  I’m going to meet people I don’t know!  And I’ll be gone a WHOLE weekend.  But it’s in September!  Lucy will be 1+ and it’ll only be a weekend and my Bubba can handle it (I HOPE my Bubba can handle it!).

So WHEEE!  Here I come girls!  I’ll be the one with my name on my wine glass and my toothbrush around my neck.  This so as not to take up any room in my luggage for the cute shoes I’m going to purchase especially for this event so that I can lounge around Elizabeth’s yard in them feeling like a woman of leisure.

Hey – I feel a new fitness goal coming on: Smokin’ by Sacremento!

Thirty

I’m eating a cupcake for breakfast. But that's ok. Because calories don’t count after you’re thirty, right?

I had to change the little blurb to the right there “about me” that I had written when I was 28. I took out the age bit completely. I feel like I just got married again and I have to remove all instances of my maiden age.

Lucy took me to the Woodland Park Zoo for my birthday. Everyone had been telling me what a nice zoo it is, and I do like me a nice zoo.  I was enormously underwhelmed.  I really should have tempered my expectations a little bit since the zoo I remember going to is the Lincoln Park Zoo in Chicago. Which is AWESOME. And also? FREE.

The Woodland Park Zoo is $16.50 for an adult entry. Does that sound completely exorbitant to anyone else here?! And it was tiny and just generally unimpressive. The only saving grace of this place was the variety of animals – they do have a lion and a tiger and elephants and monkeys and giraffes.  And they did have a cool bird exhibit.

I took a picture of the eagles' aerie because I have never seen one up close. The eagle in this photo looks tiny, but it's about twice the size of Lucy, or maybe three quarters my size.  And the aerie?  I do believe it's the size of our house.  A kitchen there, a bedroom over on that wall.  Yep.  Pretty darn close.

But the eagle and the blue-faced honeyeaters and the handful of penguins is not enough for me. So, no, thank you. I will not be going back there until Lucy is at least 2 and begging me to go see the giraffes every day.

Lucy did, however, make an excellent tour guide.

Hm, if we were just at the baboon, we should turn... right.  No. Left.

The petting zoo is this way, Mom!

Listy McBulletPoint

• Lucy and I ran around Greenlake today.  Well, we stopped to see the turtles – there were 9 of them sunning themselves today! – and the ducks, and then we stopped at the park for a quick swing, and THEN we ran around the lake.  And Lord knows Lucy wouldn’t have been able to make it around were it not for all the people walking their dogs.

• I ran today specifically because I made chocolate mint brownies for my youth group this evening, and I knew I’d have to have one (or four) as I cut them.

• I told the Bubba it might be fun if Lu and I met him downtown for a birthday lunch tomorrow.  He said no.  And then explained that he made reservations somewhere super secret for tomorrow evening and has a babysitter lined up and it’s somewhere that I have to wear a pretty dress!  And here I just had Qudoba in mind...

• Maybe Lucy will take me to the zoo for my birthday instead of lunch with the Bubba.

• I saw a gorgeous bird on my fence today which, as far as I can tell, was a Red-Shafted Flicker.  It was so NEAT and I got all NERDERIFICLY excited about it.  I should hang a bird feeder.

• We are going to the library when Herself wakes from napping to pick up some new books that just came for me.  Yay new books!

• Cute new pics:

Hotness Review As Thirty Quickly Approaches

Hey! Guess what?  I only have two more days to be Hot By Thirty.   Ummmm......  Not really close to hot. Closer, I'll give you that (because I know you're going to comment and say something and make me admit it).  But I'm pretty sure I'm not going to lose ten pounds in the next two days. 

And really?  If we're talking Hawt, I would need more than just dropping 10 pounds to be going on around here.  Maybe some help from Tim Gunn, Ken Paves, and perhaps some creative painting from Bobbi Brown?  That might get me somewhere.  Oh, alright.  Throw in a tummy tuck and boob job...

The weight isn't necessarily a Thing anymore.  I don't really feel so bad telling you (all of you! EEEP!) that I weigh 160 pounds.  Ok, now that I did that, I feel a little bad.  But whatever, it is what it is, right?  But the THING is that this 160 looks COMPLETELY different from a pre-pregnancy 160 - this weight wasn't unheard of in skinnier times.  But I still can't wear anything I used to.  My legs are skinnier and my belly is fatter.  I still have back boobs.   And muffin top no matter what pants I wear because my fat starts very suddenly a little below my belly button and ends just as suddenly a little above my belly button.  I NOW KNOW WHAT A SPARE TIRE REFERS TO!!!

Hopefully the partial weaning will cut out some of the OMG Nursing Hunger.  That'll help things a little bit.  I swear I could eat Lucy's blended veggies and chicken for how hungry both nursing and running makes me.  And maybe the weaning will also take care of the back boob issue (maybe? please?).

I'd mostly like to finish  losing the rest of that weight so that my knees have an easier time when I run.  And to fit into some (ANY!) of my summer clothes.  And I'm really curious to see if, WHEN I weigh 150 again (145?  Will I ever see you again?) whether my body will still be this weird different shape that it has taken.  

So, now I need a new Hot By Thirty.  Maybe Slimmer by Summer.  Or Fabulous by Fall.  I'm not giving up just because the Thirty part is coming (WAY) too early, people.  

Ween, Wene, Wean

Lucy had a grilled avacado-and-cheese sandwich for lunch today.  You would have thought she died and went to heaven.  She would pause every now and then from stuffing her face as fast as she could to garble something that I can only assume means "Thank GOD you FINALLY understood my demands!"

The weaning sadness and over-emotionalness has abated a little bit, but I find myself wanting to hold and squeeze my baby more often than she would like.  She's annoyed by all the kisses on her little face and neck.  She's such a big girl, and weaning is a step in her growing up that I wasn't prepared for.  Completely ready for? Yes!  Prepared for?  Not so much.

After four days of weaning two (three?) feedings, I definitely feel more of a sense of freedom. FREEDOM!  We went to friends' house for a cookout last night and I didn't have to lift up my shirt ONCE.  And also?  It felt good to be able to wear a shirt that I didn't have to worry about stretching out.  On the other hand, Daddy was in charge of the bottle and since we're used to just packing a back-up-just-in-case bottle, there wasn't quite enough for my hungry hippo.  So she ate some avocado off Mama's burger and had more bottle when we got home.  I have to get in the routine of carrying more water/formula than I actually need for the back-up-to-the-back-up-bottle.

Part of the weaning story that isn't so fun?  The engorgement.  This morning I woke up and it was like when Lucy was newborn and my milk wasn't regulated yet.  At first I thought maybe I cut out too much all at once with all the afternoon feedings, but decided even the engorgement is worth it.  Maybe not so worth it: the other stuff that gets back to regular cycling after weaning.  I've gone 19 months without one of those regular cycles, and let me tell you, I didn't miss it!  Add those emotions into the mix, and you've got one crazy-ass Mama who swings between kissing the baby to death and getting really mad that the baby kicks the box of wipes off the changing table EVERY TIME SHE'S UP THERE.

So I've got that going for me.

Friday! And the Boob Question Revisited.

I got some better sleep last night.  The child deigned to sleep through until 5:30 and my Bubba got up and fed her a bottle.  So I got to sleep until 7:30!  Woo hoo!  Life sure does look different when you're rested doesn't it?

Fatigue is a good go-to excuse for the crabbies, but that's certainly not the only issue.  I have been struggling with breast feeding.  Lucy would prefer a bottle.  I am making her breast feed.  I don't want to continue breast feeding.  But yet, I DO want to continue, otherwise I would quit, right?  Well, yesterday as Lucy was getting frustrated because she just doesn't possess the patience to nurse and I was fighting with her to just finish already and she thought it was funny to kick me in the face, I just thought, ENOUGH ALREADY.  Why am I torturing BOTH of us like this?

I have decided to wean her very slowly.  As in, cut out the afternoon/evening feedings.  That still leaves 2-3 breast feedings per day.  We'll do this at least for a while and then I'll reassess after a few weeks and see how we both are doing.   I have already cut out the bedtime feeding, but I've been pumping so she's getting breast milk for that bottle.  I'll just quit that.  Because I HATE pumping.  I think this plan will work well for Lucy and for me. 

So, why don't I feel more relieved than I do?  What I feel is sadness.  And that feeling you get when you're making a decision that impacts more than yourself of "what if this isn't the right thing?"  And maybe even a little guilt like, "Why can't I just stick with this?"

Oh my goodness, there should be some sort of cure for wacky mommy hormones.  But the decision is made, and I think it's a good one.  And maybe my skinny baby will gain some weight back too when eating is less work, who knows!

I'm feeling a little fragile, like I need to take care of myself a little better.  I'm going for a run when Lucy wakes up, and maybe I'll even do something nice like get a manicure or a haircut this weekend.  Thank goodness the sun's supposed to shine!

And She's ALREADY Up From Her Nap

I made a promise to myself that this blog wouldn't be a diary. I didn't want this space to be an outlet for whatever negative thoughts are swimming in my grey matter. I promised I would never crab about my husband doing this or that here (generally speaking), and never write miserable things that spiral into more misery. Keep a positive attitude and write about positive things!

But that's tough.

Especially when my 9 month old makes a conscious decision to stop sleeping from 1am to 3am or so for nights in a row and I’m so tired and crabby that I actually start believing that one can possibly die from exhaustion and there’s still laundry and dishes to do during the day and my toilet is so disgusting I almost don’t even want to pee in it and the toys are all over every inch of the living room tripping me until I get mad and kick them and my baby may or may not be done breast feeding and the only reason she still is is because I make her and I think that I should just stop and feed the kid a darn bottle because that's all she wants anyway and my husband comes home from work and turns on the tv so as not to have to interact with a very tired very strung out very crabby me and then I get even more crabby because my husband comes home to ignore everything and then drifts off to sleep while I lie awake worrying about stupid stuff like whether or not the 1am-3am cry fest is going to impact daytime sleeping and whether I’ll have it together enough the next day to get outside the house.

SIGH. I guess they can’t ALL be good days...

Nine and Change

Lucy charmed everyone at the pediatritian's office as per usual.  She flirted and waved and smiled at all the receptionists and nurses.  And got all kinds of good reactions out of them.  We sure did like the 9 month visit at the doctor's - all the opportunities for attention, none of the pokes!  WIN!

Lucy is 29 1/2 inches now, which is still off the charts: greater than the 97th percentile.  Her weight is 19 pounds 1.5 ounces which is solidly 50th percentile.  Lucy is what the Bubba and I call SkinnyFat.  She's got great rolls on her thighs and a chubby face, but she's got a skinny little torso.  Her weight fell on the charts, but the doctor didn't seem concerned.  Looks like the Bubba's tall skinny genes are still kicking my short fat genes butts!

As for her development?  She's just so awesomely fun.  Her personality becomes more apparent every day.  She's a curious adventurer and an avid mess maker.

Like a slow moving glacier, 

Lucy leaves destruction in her wake.

And she will amuse herself for entire minutes sitting very still and just blowing spit bubbles.  Unfortunately every time I get out the camera to capture it, she realizes she's sitting still and is forced to move.

She has a couple of words in her communication toolbox now, which is fun and interesting.  When she gets tired or bored or doesn't want any more sippy cup she says "Nononono."  I just love how a baby's "no" is a WHOLE BODY "no," physically pushing away the suggestion of something unacceptable.

"GO!" is her word for the car - when I'm unlocking the car or strapping her in her carseat, she breaks out the GO!s.  She just started using it in a different context.  I can only imagine that she's begging me to go outside, get in the car, do something other than sit in the same room playing with the same toys! Excitement, Mother! Please!

Lucy has taken to "reading" her books out loud as she points to the pictures.  Including this little photo album. We put pictures of Mommy and Daddy and Lucy in there as well as grandparents and cousins. She loves to go through and tell us all about who is in each photo. And especially point out the baby.

This isn't limited to her books, though.  Last week when I was in the grocery store, Lucy couldn't stop pointing and saying "gooliegiggolegallagalla" showing me everything that passed us in the aisles.  Is this what I sound like to her?

She's gotten really good at turning pages in her books, too.  Lucy is definitely our baby. Our little nerdlette.  Left to her own devices, she scoots straight for her books bypassing the toy box three times out of four.

Lucy creeps and is the master of creative rolling, but she still not-so-politely refuses to crawl. There's just something about being on her knees that she finds repulsively uncomfortable. She inches along with the One-Foot-Butt-Creep and is getting faster at it every day.

She's pulling herself up on anything and everything.  We had to lower the mattress in her crib last week because those slats are just too easy to scale - she's working real hard on the logistics of the jail break.  

She seems to have a good sense of humor, cracking up when I take a "bite" of whatever block or lotion bottle she's chewing on.  And my Bubba taught Lucy how to cheer for me when I ran the 5ks and now she will look at me doing something like folding her clean diapers and break out in a big smile and an “AAAAaaaaah” clapping her hands! I translate that into GO MOM!  I love it, and it totally renews my energies.

Lucy has suggestions as to how I should use those energies.  She's also become hypercritical of my cleaning skills, handing me the teeniest little specks of dirt from the carpet threatening to eat them if I don't get to them first.

It suddenly seems as though each day brings a new development and a new discovery.  Like I can almost watch the learning process from one moment to the next.  I have to work hard to keep up with keeping things safe!

My Family:

On Mother's Day we had some friends over for brats on the grill, and our friend Tyler took some family pictures in our yard that turned out SO CUTE!

Can you STAND it?  

What a fun looking family!  

It's still so weird and out-of-body-esque to think that we're Lucy's parents.  That the Bubba and I are going to shape her childhood and make memories with her.  That's so much RESPONSIBILITY!  But also?  So fun!  Lucy and my Bubba make laughing pretty easy...

Mother's Day Goodness

I bet you haven’t even noticed. I haven’t been blogging too regularly lately. My excuse is as lame as it can get. I’ve been reading. Four or five of my holds at the library came through at the same time and I was spending all my naptime with them. Sorry I’ve been cheating on you. But I still love you!

Last week it had been raining like Seattle was channeling the Midwest with real honest-to-goodness raindrops. Which would be fine and good if the mountain winds blowing it horizontal would have cooled it – one night I woke up because it actually sounded like someone was spraying our bedroom window with our garden hose.

Lucy and I had been staying in and having staring contests again and going crazy. The kitchen got cleaned. The laundry got done. I didn’t scrub the tub, but I have to be a special kind of cabin fevered to do THAT. I read Lulu et Les Lutins and What do Cows do? 25 times, went through the photos in her little album 80 times, put the blocks in her box for her to dump out at least 173 times.

Let’s just say it was a good week to just crawl under a fuzzy blanket and read a trashy vampire novel with my alone time.

But this weekend! This weekend the sun came out! And it was Mother’s Day! 

Saturday I went to the Seattle Running Company and got a new pair of running shoes. It’s the kind of place where they videotape your feet as you run barefoot on a treadmill to see how your feet react as you run. I got some kick-butt shoes that feel like exactly what my feet need. And then we went to Molly Moon’s for some salted caramel ice cream (OMG sweet nirvana) and ate it in the sunshine at the park.  We cooked out brats for dinner and ate potato salad and strawberries.

Perfect you say? I agree!  But that’s not all!

Sunday Lucy and I ran a mother-daughter 5k!

Boy, I look like I'm working hard!

Now THIS is the accomplishment I wanted to write about the FIRST time I ran a race. This course had two hills (well, it was actually one hill, we did the loop twice) and I finished in 33 minutes, 28 seconds. And get this – my knees didn’t even hurt. That’s how awesome my shoes are.

What a great way to celebrate Mother's Day!  By wearing matching hats!

AND?  Guess what my Mother's Day gift was?  Well, you're not going to guess, so I'm going to just go ahead and tell you.  When Lucy was 5-6 months old, my Bubba and I busted out some finger paints and made feet prints to use as thank you notes for Lucy's baptism.  In addition to that, we decided to go a little wild with the foot prints and had Lucy walk all over the poster board that I had down to protect the table from messy little moving parts.  It ended up looking kind of like a messy dance diagram and I love it.  My sweet Bubba had it matted and framed and now it's even more awesome:

Lucy's Dance

To sum up: the weather's been crappy, but I pretty much had the perfect Mother's Day weekend.  I have a wonderful Bubba-husband who spoils me and I have an awesome behbeh who makes me so happy to be her Mama. 

Nine

I can say it as many times as I like and it never takes the edge off the surprise and awe and magic I feel: watching Lucy grow and develop is AMAZING.

Her hair is coming in all copper and gold and I'm still shocked at how blue her beautiful eyes are.  I certainly never in a million years expected to have a blue eyed fair haired baby.  Neither did my Bubba, I think (Us = Not blue eyed.  Or fair haired).

She scoots around, she babbles incessantly, she knows a few words like "GO!" (when we're in the car) and "Nononono" (when she's frustrated) and YUM! (bet you didn't see that one coming!).

I was getting her dressed this morning, and she decided that she can do this:

So...  Close...

So FRUSTRATED!

MADE IT!

From yesterday to today, something clicked and she is even more independent.  It's just so thrilling to see her grow.

However, now that she knows she can do that, there was no making her sit still for her Nine Month Bear Picture.

Placate Mama.

Escaping!

Check ya later!

Lucy has her nine month checkup next Tuesday, and I'll let you know her stats as well as a little more info on what she's been up to lately.   I plan to post lots of video.  Get excited, Grandmas!!

Aren't the Internets Wonderful?

I just got home from Maggie's house where Lucy and I "ate" some "bologna sandwiches" that Jack made for us.  

Oh, yeah, and I met Lindsay from Spacebooke!

It's so incredible that I have met awesome people through this bloggy thing.  I guess I'm more than a little surprised that this blog that started as some open communication with the 'rents and in-laws back in Wisconsin has been so good for me in so many ways.  I get to write what's going on in my head!  I get to chronicle Lucy's day to day!  I get to stay in touch with family!  I get to encounter awesome people outside of blogs who make life a little brighter!

I like it.

No More Monkeys Jumping On The Bed

Lucy got a new hat this weekend.  Of course, we went shopping with the intention of finding a hat with a chin strap so that she couldn't yank it off within seconds.  But instead, I found this indescribable cuteness:

Hi Monkey! (also I just noticed that Daddy 

put her shoes on the wrong feet!  Hah!)

I put this monkey hat on her in the store and she immediately started making funny faces and laughing out loud at her own antics, like she knew how funny and cute she looked!  Such a sweet little monkey.

Hooky Chronicles

The Bubba took the day off.  And it was the most perfectest day ever to take off.  70 and sunny and clear and the mountains were out.  

It started out a little like Take-Your-Bubba-To-Work day.  Breakfast happened.  Morning playtime happened.  Then during first nap, household chores happened.  Then Lucy and I showed Daddy our spot at the library and the puzzles Lucy can pull off the shelves.

The day evolved into getting little errands done - changing the car oil, having a optometrist appointment (My contacts are suffocating my eyes. WAH!), dropping stuff off at Goodwill, returning a hands-free dohickey that doesn't work with my phone, yadda, yaddayadda.

We ended up at Golden Gardens in the early evening to introduce Lucy to feet in the sand.  She liked digging her feet in and wiggling her toes around, but could definitely do without the sand sticking to her hands.  It was like on Monk - she looked at me like "Wipe, please."

We got almost all of our to-do list done, and that feels good.  But best of all?  We got to spend it together walking around, doing our errands in the beautiful day.