Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Thoughts on Things

I'm kind of over the 5k race.  Thanks for all your support, by the way.  Such nice internets you are!  And by over it, I just mean I ran it and I'm glad I ran it and it's not a big deal anymore - good OR bad.  I'm on to the next thing.

Which is the Beat the Bridge.  It's an 8k.  A nice little midpoint between a 5k and anything longer (OHDEARLORD).  I just updated my training calendar and today I'm due for a 4 mile run.  I don't think the distance will be the hardship.  I think actually beating the bridge will be tough.  At the two mile mark, there is a drawbridge that will go up 20 minutes into the race.  That means, in order to get there I have to prod my butt to go a 10 minute mile pace.  At least for the first two miles.  We will just go ahead and see what happens.  At this point, I am going to try my darndest to get there in three weeks, but I'm also going to do my darndest to be realistic with myself so that the Disappointment doesn't happen again.

Also?  In Hot By Thirty news, I'm thirty in less than a month (WHAT?!) and I still have a ways to go.  ALTHOUGH, if I am PERFECTLY HONEST with myself (and you) which I very rarely like to be concerning weight loss, I am 5 pounds lighter than at my 11 week OB appointment.  Which puts me at about 5 pounds from pre-Lucy weight.  Except that was heavy.  So all this to say, I still have about 10 pounds to go before I'll really celebrate.

So that's that.

In other news, Lucy's gotten really good at scooting around on her bum and scaling things.  And she even made it up on all fours a couple times today.  And each time I searched wildly for the camera without finding it.  

Probably because I'm moving a bookshelf from my "office" to the living room.  The distance is maybe two to three feet total, but there's a wall in between.  You would think that I was packing up the entire house for the mess I made just getting the darn thing around the corner.  Books were everywhere.  I got sidetracked looking through photo albums.  And, of course, there's always the Why Are We Keeping So Many Books That We Don't Read organizational thought process.  But then the We Have Moved These Darn Books At Least Four Times and They Are OURS argument wins out again.  Mess, mess, mess.  And somewhere in there is the camera.

FINALLY found it:
I Must Pause To Taste the Floor
And Mom? Stop making fun of my HUGE diaper butt.

Do you know what else?  We were going to the grocery store yesterday and Lucy was happily babbling Mamabudidididi as we got ready and out the door.  As I was unlocking the car door she pointed at the car and said "GO!"  That was pretty awesome.

AND!  I have little babies growing!!  My baby seeds that I started are sprouting.


They live on the bathroom window sill and I try not to check on them more than once a day because a watched plant doesn't grow.  Or something like that.  I'm just so excited for them to be in my garden.  On the left we've got 'maters.  On the right spinach, and the fat ones all the way to the right are zucchinis.  Not that I thought I'd have trouble sprouting zucchinis - they seem to grow just about anywhere just about anyhow.  But I started the egg carton for my tomatoes, and had to fill the rest of the cubbies.  And I love them.  Lucy and I go in there and say nice things to them and sing them songs just like Toad does.  Lucy also has a book called Une fleur c'est fragile that says "Quand on met une graine dans la terre et qu'on l'arrose, elle germe.  ...  On la regarde.  On lui parle."  So we (meaning I) recite that too.

I can't count on nap time being much longer, so I have to go get ready for my run.  That reminds me that I should really invest in a sun hat with a strap for my precious girl who's new favorite pastime is ripping things off of her head and out of her hair.  And let me tell you, there's nothing quite like a fit thrown at mile 2.5 of 4 because of sun in eyes and insistence on being carried the REST OF THE WAY HOME.

Monday, April 27, 2009

What I Did This Weekend

First thing on Saturday morning we did this:

Daddy and Lucy putting running shoes on

And then we did this:

Post 5k

I ran a race.  For the first time in my life.  ME!  I ran. A race.  With my feet and running and stuff.

It felt good to run!  I was keeping up with other people!  My sweetest Bubba kept pace with me the entire time and encouraged me to slow down when I was hurting and keep going when I was feeling good.  Because he's awesome and supportive and loves me like that.

Except I was disappointed with my finish.  The course included a hill - not a huge hill, but I'd call it a big-ish hill - and going up was OK, but going down hurt my knees so bad I had to walk (limp?) for two or three minutes.  I suppose the disappointment comes from the fact that I was running 4 miles last week and I was doing fine at it.  I know I can DO it.  I just couldn't when it "counted."

I keep thinking, "Man, I would have kicked that race's butt if I had just trained on hills a little" or "If my knees weren't so weak..."  And it's hard for me to recognize that I just ran a 5k in the fastest I ever have (which ISN'T FAST, in case you were wondering at about a ten and a half minute mile pace).  (See?  There I go again making excuses for myself.)

Will there ever be a time when I give myself a break and I can celebrate a victory without having to qualify it or without comparing my feat to what I had imagined it would be?  

AND?  I've only been running for three months.  I'm still new at this and not very good!   I want to tell everybody I know that I finished a 5k with a bum wheel in under 36 minutes, and at the same time, I want to keep it a secret and maybe tell them about the SECOND race I run - in which I run the WHOLE thing and my time is better.

My goal isn't to be the fastest runner in the race.  It's to run a race.  SIX YEARS I've been talking about running a 5k with my Bubba.  I guess I just wish I could celebrate that without beating myself up for not being perfect on the very first try.  

Friday, April 24, 2009


Things have changed around here.

Lucy has discovered the meaning of existence.

Wanna know what it is?  Rice crackers.  

Lucy is now an expert at aiming food into her mouth.  If it's delectable rice crackers.  It has ruined her for everything else.  Except maybe bananas.  And now?  Nothing on a spoon, thankyouverymuch, I'll take it bite sized.  But only if it's rice crackers.


Much like her Mama, this girl is happiest when eating. 

*Sigh*  My little gourmet.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

New Hobby

I LOVE SPRING. Love it. I love the sun, I love the cool breezes, I love the new flowers, I love the cherry blossoms, I love the smell of dirt. I even love the stinky fish smell from the canal because it means sunshine and outside-ity.

I have to have a little period of mourning in the spring, though, because I usually put away my knitting for the summer. I just don't want to play with wool or think of cold evenings wearing cozy sweaters when there's sun and warm weather and outside is calling me to come and play!

At the fancy-pants mall in town there's a fancy-pants kids store that I went in to look for something for the rash of new babies around church and work friends. Except I couldn't even afford a pair of socks. There were a couple of really cute t-shirts, but they were $75! No thanks, not for something that's going to have smears of pureed carrots on it after one wearing and something that won't fit in three weeks. Ugh.

But they were that expensive? because they had cute little flowers embroidered on the front. And all of a sudden, I found myself a new summer hobby. It still counts as making things! And I can design things myself and be all creative. I wonder why I never thought of this before!

When we were up at the outlet mall this week, I found some baby t-shirts for $1.99, and this is what I've come up with so far:

My lovely model Lucy is wearing a cotton t-shirt with fruit sharing a whimsical message:

This says "colorful" in Japanese. I was shooting for "cute", but it turns out that it's a way more complicated character.

And this one:

It's a Lu Bird!

I would make such an awesome pioneer wife. We'd have embroidered monograms on everything and my husband would have the fanciest hand-tatted collar in town.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009


I was laying in bed deciding whether to get up or not and I heard the Lord’s name being taken in vain, and maybe a few other creative swears mixed in there. My stomach turned icy. I totally hate it when my Bubba is angry, and he’s not one to drop the f-bomb very liberally (unlike some people I may resemble). So I got up to help him, only I found that the huge world-stopping problem is that he can’t find where he put his wallet last night. I told him to say a prayer to St. Anthony, take my debit card if he needed it and go to work.

So then when I got up for the day (the Bubba left for work by 6, like I’m going to get up for the day then when my kid’s still asleep!), I tore the house apart looking in drawers and closets and under things like the bed and the scary under-couch before I called him with the bad news that I couldn’t find the darn thing.

Oh! But HE had found it. Very shortly after he left home. In his bag. He just forgot to call and tell me so that I didn’t waste hours of my morning looking through and under things.

Now, I would be very frustrated that the morning routine was non-exsistant. But I shouldn’t judge. He’s been under a lot of pressure lately because his Big Important Deadline is Friday. I guess his fit this morning is the equivalent of me trying on everything in my closet an hour before we’re supposed to be at a party and then collapsing on the bed in tears because I’m too fat and I don’t have any clothes.

To each his or her own meltdown process.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Wedding and Recovery

We've been trying really hard to get back to reality after a weekend of a very loosely structured schedule.  When you screw up one little itty-bitty innocuous night of sleep for your own petty devices like going out dancing all night with your husband, you ruin and entire week of baby sleep.  

Lucy woke up three times last night.  Sigh.

We did get a nice family photo:

And after the Lu-bird went home to bed:

Can you believe that this was only the second time that the Bubba and I have been out together since Lucy was born?  It's just so easy to make excuses not to.  

We sure did have fun, though.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

FYI: Pink = Girl

This weekend is wedding-rific for us.  Our great friends are getting married this afternoon, so this week has been busy with excitement and preparations.  Nap time has been used for wrapping and making things, awake time has been spent shopping, running errands.  And getting ready to see friends from out of town.  And YAY!  I LOVE WEDDINGS!

Yesterday I was at Macy's home department just after it opened at 10am.  The only people in the store were me and Lucy and the entire retirement community of Seattle talking about the firmness of their down pillows and whether their husbands snore and what thread count was nicer.

As I was waiting for some customer service help a nice older couple was in front of me in line to return something (even if I didn't already know they were old, I could tell by the way they kept calling the receipt a "sale slip").  They spent some of the waiting cooing at Lucy.

At one point the old man - can I just add here that he seemed to be a normal person and have all of his faculties - asked "How old is he?"  And I paused.  Because Lucy was wearing strappy girl shoes, dark pink pants and a light pink sweater.  But then I thought, well, whatever, maybe the old guy is color blind and said, "This is Lucy.  She's eight months old."

To which the gentleman replied "He sure is a BIG boy!"

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Me and My Shadow!

My cool, laid back kid and I went shopping yesterday.  We went to the Seattle Outlet Mall about 40 minutes away.  I just lucked out so amazingly to be graced with a kid who doesn't mind riding in a car seat just to ride around stores in a stroller in order to get back in the car seat and come back home.

I was dress shopping for a wedding this weekend.  I thought we were on the ebb side of the marriage wave.  I mean, it seems like by the time you're in your thirties, one by one all of your college friends are married, and then you're riding the baby wave.  But somehow a whole lot of our friends all got twitterpated last year or so and we have six weddings to go to this summer.

So, I was looking for a dress that I could possibly wear to all of these weddings.  I know.  And also?  I'm one of the only one in these groups of friends with a baby - I guess we were at the beginning of the baby wave.  That means I'm the chubby SAHM in a crowd of fit DINKs.  It's surprisingly difficult to figure out how to dress my new body.  But that's a subject for another thrilling weight-loss post.  So, not only was I looking for a dress but I was looking for something that would make people say "She looks great!"  and leave off the "...considering..."  

Something trendy and well-made, something that proves that I haven't lost touch with fashion completely.  But also something that won't make me freak out if Lucy's dinner doesn't agree with her during the ceremony.

I found a cool dress that basically fits all of the criteria, and my baby cooperated rather cheerfully while I picked out and tried things on.  The stars aligned and the shopping gods smiled down on me.  One reason Lucy was so amenable?  There are mirrors in the changing stalls.

Meet Lu's cute little friend:

I just LOVE it when she plays with her hair.  It's a sleepy thing.  So is the beating of the chest.  The playing with the hair, though, is just the cutest.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Nursery Rhymes

Overheard at bedtime (Bubba to Lucy):

Old Mother Hubbard 
Sat in her cupboard
Eating her curds and whey
Along came a spider
That bit her big shoe
And scared all her children away.

...  Then they all jumped over the moon or something.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Sugar Hangover

We held our annual Easter “brunch” chez nous again this year, and it was, in my opinion, a smashing success!  We had a collection of friends that don’t have family in the area with whom we celebrate holidays we can’t get home for.  Like Easter.  Thanksgiving.  Okay, Christmas too. They’re our in-town family when it comes to holidays, I suppose.

I put brunch in quotes because we actually ate around 3pm, but we had breakfast food for the most part, so whatever. I figure it still counts as brunch.  We made an egg casserole, I made cinnamon rolls from scratch (this recipe - OMG SO good!), and my sweet Bubba made a strawberry/lemon trifle.  Les invitees brought fruit salad and green salad and we feasted!

Wyatt brought mimosas, and about three quarters of the way into my delicious drink I said “You guys, I think I’m… I think I’m drunk.” And simply the fact that I had to say it twice, the fact that I just couldn’t blurt it out in the first try made it so. So by the time “dinner-brunch” rolled around everyone was animated and laughing and I was hung over.

And then after the busy day of church and cooking and baking and company and a lingering headache, I was in bed and asleep by about 9:30. Oh what an exciting life I do lead!

A couple great things happened as a direct result of having an Easter meal at my house. The house got cleaned. No kidding. I scrubbed the sinks and counters and toilet and I even wiped the condensation off the bathroom ceiling (we rent an oldish house in which they very recently at our request installed a bathroom fan and it has actually made the moisture issue worse because the handyman our landlords hired to do it made it such that the moisture from outside now ends up on our bathroom ceiling as well as the shower moisture. Yes, it’s awesome and I really love wiping down the ceiling and walls in there every week or so in case you were wondering. Bubba, when are we moving into our new house with brand new bathrooms and kitchen??). I made beds! Put away clothes! Dusted! The Bubba organized and swept. And TAADAA! We have a nice clean house. I LOVE having a clean house. I just sit and look around with a little Look-How-Nice-And-CLEAN!” smile on my face.

Another great thing is that we finally replaced our borderline crappy dining table with a for real grown-up table with a LEAF in it. So now we can actually fit more than three people for dinner! And it’s NEW. We don’t have very many things that we bought new from an actual store, so it’s not only new, it’s NEW. And pretty. And all the scratches and bumps and wobbles that it gets will all be from us.

I love shiny new things.

Lucy wasn’t too sure about all the activity and all the people. I go in and check on her before I cash in for the night, and usually she wakes up a little bit with the squeak of the door and the clicking off of her heater. Last night, nothing. She was so dang tired.  I had to have the Bubba help me to make sure she was breathing without waking her.  

Speaking of Lucy's sleep, she FINALLY cut one of her bottom teeth yesterday.  It now makes a clinking noise when tasting the rim of my mimosa glass.  She has been waking up once or twice during the night for the past week or two, and I don't know if it's mouth related, growth related, or developmental stage related.  It doesn't matter so much WHICH, I just wonder when the sleeping through the night will return..

She also just started doing this little caterpillar move:
Bounce like your booty's got the hiccups!

Which I'm thinking is her precursor to crawling. Stay tuned!

I hope your Easter celebrations were wonderful and I also hope you've gained approximately a stone in pure sugar so that I'm not the only one!

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Please Tell Me I'm Not The Only One

Now that I'm a mother (and maybe even in the last week) I have:
  • gone four whole days without brushing my hair - it goes straight from shower to ponytail again
  • left the house with one of Lucy's hair clips holding back my bangs and I didn't notice until someone at the library looked at it weird
  • arrived at a meeting thinking I am well put-together only to pick a baby booger off of my shoulder
  • woke up uncomfortable to find a pacifier digging into my ribs.
  • marched down a public street with people around making trumpet noises pretending to be in a marching band just to get a baby laugh
Motherhood = no shame

Tuesday, April 7, 2009


Miss Lu is Eight! Months! Old! 

And cuter every day!

I know, I go through this every single month, but it’s hard to believe. I was talking to a friend yesterday who just had a baby and she said “I can’t believe she’s a week old already!” Tell me about it, Girl. And then I talk to my sister who can’t believe hers are in college already. Doesn’t matter the time frame - it flies by while you sit and blink.

It’s like being so fascinated by the little expressions that Lucy makes that I don’t often look at her whole face. I’m concentrating on the arch of her raised eyebrow or the purse of her lips or the wrinkle under her eye when she squints and I don’t often see it all together unless I look at a photo or concentrate specifically on looking at her whole face.

When's the last time you vacuumed, Mom?

While I’m keeping vigilant watch on the little moments of every day, the weeks are sneaking past.

Lucy has been playing with her toys differently lately. It really is amazing to see the learning going on from one day to the next. Instead of chewing on her board books, Lucy has started turning the pages and pointing at pictures. Don’t get me wrong, she is still very interested in how they taste (my little gourmet!), it’s just tempered by the pretty pictures. She has also discovered that the beads move on her bead roller coaster. Before, she was picking up the entire toy or pushing it around on the carpet. Now she concentrates on one bead and tries to pick it up.

"Three singing pigs say La La La!"

Lucy is terrified of trying to crawl. She doesn’t HATE being on her tummy (it’s definitely not her favorite) but she will stay well within her known balance range while reaching for toys or Mommy or whatever. She’s got Urdhva Mukha Svanasana perfected, but when I put her knees under her, she starts screaming. It’s kind of nice that I can still put her down and she’ll be in the same general area when I come back! No cords to hide! No attentiveness to keep things from being thrown down the heating vent! But at the same time, I want her to start moving because she’d be so HAPPY if she could Just. Reach. That. Toy.

She does like standing, though. She’ll stand at the couch and play with her toys. And the other day she was playing on the kitchen floor and kept trying to pull herself up on her highchair only to get stuck with lock-kneed legs jutting off to the side every time. The coordination isn’t quite there yet to support that kind of gymnastics.

Electronics are delicious!

Lucy is madly in love with being outside. She loves watching the ducks swim in the canal and the big boats go by. She will also sit very contentedly on a blanket in the yard watching the birds and gently touching individual blades of grass.

I wonder what THIS tastes like...

I’ve started feeding Lucy little chunks of food along with the pureed stuff. Despite the fact that everything the girl touches goes directly into her mouth without pause, she will absolutely not put a small piece of banana from her high chair tray in there. We’re still working on it.

There are the first two little teeth in Lucy’s mouth that still haven’t quite pushed through the gums yet. They’re trying so hard, though. Every day I look at them and say “Maybe today!” and they just stay there lurking, making Lucy rub her ears with her shoulder (in an incredibly cute little shrug-ish movement) and drool great big viscous drips onto her shirt (not so cute).

Here are my blue eyes.
Can you see my teeth hiding in here?

In summary, Lucy is awesome, and I really like being her mom.

Monday, April 6, 2009


I’m really good at starting weight loss/fitness regimes. When it comes right down to it, I can be majorly obsessive about what I eat and when and how much I exercise. It doesn’t necessarily make me happy, but I can do it. It doesn’t last too long, though. I think the longest I’ve gone is two months on a "fitness" kick – and that was when I quit smoking (for good).

What with the smoking and whatnot, you can understand why I have sucked so majorly at running and other things that involve full lung capacity. I’ve been sticking to my couch to 5k training, though! And I’ll be done with it NEXT WEEK.

On Saturday the Bubba and Lucy and I went to Greenlake (about 2.8mi) and ran almost the whole way around. I’ve never been able to do anything like this, and I can’t even say how proud I am of myself. I want to call random people up and tell them that I’m a runner! I run! That’s what I do, because I’m a runner!

My dad was a marathoner and I never thought I would ever share that interest. He ended up quitting because he had bad hips that I’ve inherited. But since Lucy was born, I don’t seem to be having as much trouble with them even with the running. So my slow little attempt at making my way a couple miles makes me feel like I share something my dad, and that he’s proud of me.

So I’m looking for a 5k race for the end of this month to help motivate myself and also to celebrate my (ginormous) accomplishment. But these stupid Mommy Emotions get in the way. I can’t look for a race without tearing up. Not only because I’ve come so far in my fitness goals, but also because these are memorial races for gun control, because so-and-so was shot, WAH! And for diabetes – what would it be like to have a child with diabetes? WAH! Etc.

And then I have to keep adding milage to my training because I have plans to run the Beat the Bridge with my friend in early May – it’s 5-ish miles.

I can’t believe that I’m actually doing this. I was never even able to run the mile in gym class as a high schooler. And I’m sure my Bubba is sick to death of me asking “How proud of me are you!?”

Friday, April 3, 2009

Another Bullet

Well, the Bubba's company laid off another 15 people yesterday.  Two of them were good friends.  None of them was the Bubba.

He saw it coming and didn't tell me about it because he knew I'd worry, but he fell asleep the night before thinking about what on his desk he'd have to pack up if he were escorted out.  I would have stayed up all night thinking about who the first person I could call to crash in their basement would be.

All evening the Bubba was really sad.  Something akin to survivor's remorse as near as we could reckon.  And it was of the end of a stressful situation without the relief that we had dodged another bullet.  Thankfully the newly laid off people that we are close to both have spouses/soon-to-be-spouses that have jobs that are (for the moment) secure, but that doesn't seem to lessen the blow too much.

I was chatting with my Irish friend who lives in Barcelona (hi Tracey!), and even at her job three people (of the not very many that work there) were recently let go.  She's feeling lucky to have a job right now too.

It is frustrating that we don't know the criteria the higher-ups are using to decided where the ax will fall.  Many of the people from yesterday's massacre were either the Bubba's level or Senior Associates.  If they were good enough to be promoted to Senior Associate, one would think that they would be exempt.  But then again, maybe people in the Bubba's level know the same stuff and just aren't getting paid as much to do it.

We are so thankful for our lifestyle.  We live very well within our means.  We don't spend money on unnecessary (not awesome) things, we have very simple needs, and we are very happy.  I love being able to be home with Lucy and teach her and watch her grow.  The Bubba loves going to work and figuring things out and getting lost in his head.

And now I'm looking over the want ads just in case the other shoe drops.  As far as I can tell, it can at any time.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Crabby-Pants McWhinerson

Lately I've been dealing with the WHINE.  

Lucy could win the gold if whining were an Olympic sport.  I wonder what the world record is for longest consecutive high-pitched whine.  

I've been blaming everything on teeth, but I started reading The Wonder Weeks by Vanderijt and Plooij and have some new things to blame for the incessant line of whine.  This book basically says that when babies hit big developmental milestones that it's super scary because the world they understood and were comfortable with is upended.  And then they get more clingy and more whiney until they figure it out all the way or get used to it.  I find that to be fascinating.  The teeth aren't off the hook, but they're not the only culprit in my go-to list anymore.

LE SIGH.  Being whiney is TIRING!

Either these teeth better pop through pretty quick here, or whatever she's working on figuring out better come to her.  Ohlordplease.

Mama needs some WINE.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Cake for Dinner, Dooce for Dessert

After all of that big talk about eating so well, I was a rock star yesterday as I finished the bag of Lays potato chips as an afternoon snack, and then had cake for dinner.  But it was for Dooce, and really, it was worth it.

Carrie and Maggie and I got to the bookstore more than a half hour early - but it was a good thing, because there were (I'd say, and I can only estimate because there were at LEAST as many people there as at our wedding) around 120 people there.    We got great seats, on the aisle in case seven-months-pregnant Carrie had to make a mad dash to the bathroom, and right in back of some nice-looking white haired older couples.

Wait, wait, what?  What were nice-looking older couples doing waiting for Dooce?  If you haven't noticed, she's kinda vulgar and has quite the potty mouth at times.  And she talks at length about baby-having and the hardships thereof on one's body, specifically the "swimsuit region." 

These couples weren't together either - there were two separate couples on either side of the aisle looking around and waiting excitedly.  I turned to Maggie and said "I bet they don't know who they're waiting to see."

Sure enough, when the blue-haired woman got to the microphone and introduced our speaker as the author of the blog, and It Sucked and Then I Cried, the couples gave each other confused looks and gathered up their coats and left very quickly.

I was actually relieved.  There's something about Heather that you don't really want to share with your grandma.  I didn't want to accidently catch one of their eyes while I was belly laughing about boobs and waking up in a puddle of your own milk.

I didn't want to be traumatized by having to see them wiping away tears of hilarity like I was doing when we were talking about the mess that's left of your bottom after pushing a baby out, or the idea that private parts that bounce right back after baby could fold sheets and sing show tunes too.

I'd just like to keep that between me and the rest of the internets.