This week I didn't post anything on my blog. I didn't READ any blogs (sorry, guys, you know I still love you). I barely even checked my email. My computer crashing felt like a betrayal. Like a boyfriend breaking up with me and not telling me why. Was it something I did? Something I said? Something I posted for all of the internets to see? I felt like I needed a minute to evaluate my situation. A little moment to heal from the heart brake.
I started out feeling like I was doomed. I lost everything! Woe! But little by little I've repopulated my folders with photos I'd sent to the Bubba at work or that I posted here are there. And even one or two of the videos of Lucy just born were saved on the Bubba's laptop. So things started looking brighter. But still, all my music, my knitting patterns, my work documents. Those are still gone.
I made a decision as you do when you are at a crossroads in a relationship. I will never make myself that vulnerable again. I don't quite know what that means yet. I think it means having an old fashioned address book in my desk. It definitely means having an external hard drive and backing up my important files.
But I can't quit you, computer. Can we still be friends?