Friday, June 26, 2009
Thursday, June 25, 2009
In an unfortunate turn of events, Farmer Dan of Lucystoybox, Washington, was involved in an accident of his plastic tractor on Friday evening. The mayor of Lucystoybox was on the scene within moments of the accident reportedly administering CPR to Farmer Dan.
The passengers of the Farmer Dan’s Farm Fun Hayride were shaken up but not seriously injured. The cow told reporters that it was eerie how quickly the mayor got to the scene of the accident. “It was almost like she was here when it happened,” he added. The pig said that he “felt the hayride accelerate very quickly and then reverse suddenly,” but after that, he reportedly doesn’t remember anything other than falling over the corn-fence onto the ground.
As of this report, reckless driving and driver impairment have not been cited as catalytic factors, but the cause of the accident still remains to be seen. Ms. Mayor announced, “Dado-daow, wow. Carlll mamah ba!” as she helped the shaky passengers of the hayride back into their assigned seats. This city remains hopeful that those words prove true.
Farmer Dan will be rejoining his compatriots for more hayriding adventures after a short period of recovery.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Let me start at the beginning. (Deep breath… and… sigh)
I was driving home from a lovely visit with friends. Dum-de-dum, driving in the right lane, the turn lane, of a street that dead-ended at this particular intersection. The light for going left was red. The right turn arrow had just turned green and I slowed to let a car in a parking lot driveway into my lane.
Except he didn’t want into my lane.
He wanted all of the traffic in the entire universe to revolve around his ass as he turned left. So he pulled out straight in order to directly block my lane. The cars in the other lane can’t go anywhere because they have a red light. And the oncoming traffic has green. So. Riddle me this. Where on God’s green earth does that guy think he can possibly go?
I honked a quick little polite little honk and gestured that he might want to move because I have a green turn arrow up there, and I’m anxious to get home for naptime. He doesn’t look at me and instead gestures at the car perpendicular to him obviously appalled that the guy didn’t evaporate in order to get out of his way. I honked again, maybe a little more insistently. After all, I have a GREEN LIGHT and a WHINY NAP DEPRIVED CHILD.
He gestured wildly like he had no control over the situation and he's stuck just like me. At which point I lost my cool. And this is where I should be ashamed: I got out of the car.
He wouldn’t look at me and pretended that he couldn’t hear me through his window but was obviously agitated. That’s when there was no cool left whatsoever up in here. I started yelling at him that there was no effing way he was going to get anywhere and he’s causing a huge traffic jam and he should back the eff up and stop being an effing ignorant jerk and learn how to drive and I wish I had my effing tire iron in the car. There may have been more verbiage that spilled from my mouth, but you get the general idea.
Then I got back in my car shaking like I just channelled Jack Nicholson and tried to be real calm so Lucy wouldn't get upset. And contemplated just driving into his car. I thought about how the police report would look. That I had a green turn arrow and he pulled out in front of me. How much damage would be done to his car. Would I be guilty of assault? If only there weren’t a whole street full of stuck-and-can’t-help-but-notice kinds of witnesses.
So I honked my horn some more.
AND THEN? The light for going left turned green. And none of those cars would let him through. BECAUSE WHY WOULD THEY? And he inched into the other lane until the cars couldn’t go around him any more. And then he SAT THERE AND WAITED FOR ONCOMING TRAFFIC TO STOP FOR HIM. So here he is blocking two lanes of green lights. And finally someone stopped for him and he turned left after giving the guy in the other lane the FINGER apparently for BEING THERE.
So. Really? I was having a great day. I had a great visit with friends. And I am NOT one for road rage. EVER. Ask my Bubba – I’m always the one telling him not to get worked up, just to get where we’re going safely.
I made a poor decision to get out of the car (especially with the precious cargo in the back seat).
But I feel like I should feel worse about it than I actually do.
- Lucy has without a doubt made the connection between words/signs and abstract meaning. When we were on our Father's Day hike, she kept hearing the rushing water and pointing and yelling "Car!" I would make the sign for water, telling her that it's loud water. After 20 minutes, she pointed in the direction of the rapids and tapped her hand to her chin.
- The signs have really taken off. She does "milk," "all done," "airplane," "water," "ball," "more," and "up." And every time she points at something she looks to me to make the sign for her. She's pretty good at saying "car" and "truck", but she's so interested in the big vehicles going by that I feel like I should make up some easy signs for them - as opposed to spelling them out. Unfortunately I'm not feeling so creative. We are currently working on the sign for "change" (as in a diaper) since Lucy has turned into a secret pooper.
- Lucy waves hello. In her stroller she's a pageant queen waving to her adoring public.
- I was folding laundry yesterday and, trying to keep the queen occupied, racking my brain for other songs to sing. I started singing "Oh where oh where has my little dog gone..." which I never sing. She crawled over to her toys, rummaged around, and brought me her Baby Tad toy that sings that song.
- Lucy was in the living room playing very nicely with her toys and I was in the kitchen doing my wifely duties of food-making. Every couple of minutes I went into the living room to check on the baby. One of these times, Lucy looked up from the book she was reading and said "Hi, Mama." plain as day. Heart? Melted.
- Every time Lucy sees a camera she "smiles:"
Monday, June 22, 2009
I don’t remember if I ever thanked my daddy for everything that he taught me. It was already so much, even though I felt like I had so much more to learn from him.
He taught me what love looks like and how an honorable man should treat people. I looked for a relationship that mirrored the love and respect and downright devotion that I saw in my parents’ marriage. And based on that, I chose my Bubba to be my kids’ daddy. And, oh my goodness, that was the right choice.
My Bubba shed tears of joy with me when our daughter was born. He looks at her in wonder and rejoices with her in new discoveries. He will stand with her at the cupboard and patiently let her touch every single thing in it before moving on to something else. He made a makeshift sandbox for her out of a Tupperware tub and gardening sand after seeing how much she enjoyed her little friend’s sand table. He lovingly explains to her the intricacies of shear forces and load bearing supports. He shaves his face just to give her kisses without pokes.
I thank God that I have had two exceptional men influence my life. And Lucy and I are both enormously blessed to have the Bubba for her daddy.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Lucy's hair was so long in the front that it kept itching her eyes. Add to that a mommy that doesn't do a perfect job of keeping her nails clipped short, and you have a baby with scratches all over her eyebrows and nose.
I decided to bite the bullet and cut it. It didn't turn out half bad, if I do say so myself, considering that I just lifted and cut sort of aimlessly when she was eating...
Thursday, June 18, 2009
I get pretty anal once in a while (hah!) about my house and my job as a SAHM. Especially the cleaning parts. I like living in a clean space. It doesn’t have to be spotless; I can deal with a little bit of mess, but I can’t handle filth. Well, I can’t really handle a lot of mess either. Like when the toys are absolutely all over the living room and every pot and pan I own is strewn across the kitchen floor with little plastic dinosaurs in them and the laundry is piled up…. You get the picture. I can’t handle that either – I just don’t even know where to begin. So I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m anal, full stop.
Add in a baby who is constantly on the move on her hands and knees (well, one knee one foot). Every time I pick her up she has specks of grossness on her sweaty little hands and then she puts all those grossly-specked fingers in her mouth to help coax the teeth out, and EW. I just can’t keep my floors clean enough, and I can’t wash Lucy’s hands every five seconds.
My only answer to this is Swiffer for a quick mop after sweeping the floor. But I don’t really want Lucy to be that close to whatever sketchy cleaning solution they use to strip dirt off the floor. That makes me nervous (although I fully admit that I am enamored with the idea of one of these. It's totally in my knitting queue.). I've thought of just using water and doing a once-over with a mop but that just spreads the dirt around, no?
So here's your part: do you guys have some sort of magic solution for me? Some awesome cleaning product that I've never heard of? One I have heard of and never thought to try? What do you do when your kid keeps handing you hairs she found in the carpet - or worse, tastes the fuzzies she finds under the armoire? (Without resorting to one of these...)
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
My baby is very much a little Love, too. She often has to take time outs from playing with her toys to come climb up in my lap for a hug and kiss. Then she goes right back to playing happily on her own. Except the “kiss”would just be evidenced by a drool spot on the chest/shoulder of the shirt I was wearing.
Now that she conceptualizes what a kiss is, she goes in for a nice smooch with a wide open mouth in the manner of all babies. So at this point, you lurve that your baby can kiss you on purpose to show you love! But you’re also stuck.
This morning Lucy moved in for a kiss from the Bubba. He chose bottom. That’s always dangerous. Bottom lip often includes at least a little bit of tongue and usually quite a bit of chin drool. And sure, he pulled back and immediately wiped at his face with his sleeve.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Monday, June 8, 2009
I’m looking for a new pair of glasses. My doctor told me that my eyes aren’t getting enough oxygen through my contacts. That’s not a good thing. Actually, what he said was, “How often do you wear your contacts? Because your eyes are very unhealthy.” That scared me into wearing my glasses for a least half of the time. And now that I’m used to it, I’m wearing them more often.
There are a couple of things that suck about wearing my glasses all the time. First, I’m a spoiled brat and I’d like a couple different pair to switch things up a little bit. I really do like my glasses, but they're about 6 years old, and like I said, I’m a spoiled brat. The other thing? I don’t have prescription sunglasses or clips. I’ve been super-dorking it and wearing my sunglasses over my glasses. It’s pretty hot.
I went to Pearle vision thinking that I might get a mix-it-up pair of glasses and maybe a pair of prescription sunglasses. Except! After spending time picking out a pair of frames that I really liked, I sat down with a woman who may very well have started working there the previous day for how fluently she spoke eyeglasses. I’ve been wearing glasses since I was six years old. I know that I need high index lenses and I know what anti-reflective coating means.
Anyway, they wanted almost $400 for JUST the lenses. Four hun-dred dol-lars. Do you know how much my lenses actually cost anywhere else? $160. THAT'S the only way Pearle can afford to offer a buy-one-get-one “deal.”
I was floored. Asked her if $400 seemed exorbitant to her. She shrugged her shoulders. Then I asked if she knew that the lenses actually cost less than half of their price. She shrugged her shoulders. I told her that the boutique eye glass place in Fremont can build me a pair of titanium frames and lenses for the price of just their lenses, and that I was going to go there. She shrugged again and said, “That’s understandable. We’re in a recession.”
Now that made me kind of mad. Recession? Like at any other point in time, I would be fine flushing money down the toilet. Anyway, I was so appalled that I actually considered staying there and continuing to ask them how they could possibly charge so much in their right minds. But instead, I left.
And now I have no new glasses and no sunglasses. Sigh.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
I’m pretty occupied this week, so won’t be posting too much. Or maybe not at all besides this. We’ll see how things go.
But I just had to tell you guys - Lucy is amazing. She has grown up so much just in the last week. She surprises me every day.
Last week she started crawling/scooting. She still hasn’t quite mastered the two knees down thing, but she’s getting better at it, and I can’t take my eyes off of her before she’s into something else at the other side of the room.
She uses words to mean concepts. She said cockadoodledoo pointing at the rooster in her book. She still uses go! to mean anything that moves. Daddy’s bike is Go. The cement trucks roaring by are Go. Her toy tractor is Go. But it doesn’t end there. She said owl yesterday (referring to a picture book). She also said yes after I was teasing her about saying “nonononono” – I said “You must say YES to your Mama! Yes! Yes! Yes!” And she looked at me and said “Yes!” and laughed like it was some sort of joke.
Yesterday I held her standing and she took a step. And then another. Wobbly little starter steps. She just realized when she woke up that those things that wear cute tiny shoes actually belong to her and are useful for something other than sucking on.
And OhMyGoodness! Her attitude has adequately reflected all of the confidence that has come with finding new talents. She thinks she’s HILARIOUS. Which, in fact, I find to be hilarious.
At the park:
I had a little hitch in my pride for OHNO! My baby’s getting SO BIG! But then the pride won out and I just have to love who this little person is becoming. She’s just so SWEET.
Just had to let you know.