One of those infomercials came on for this fancy-pants peeler. You can use it either way! You can peel a two-by-four with it and then peel a tomato! It comes with a stand so now it’s a mandolin! And now put this attachment on and you make perfect julianned vegetables!
I want one of those infomercials to promise things like: Put on the hose attachment and BAM! your dishes are done! BUT WAIT! That’s not all! We will include a sous-chef that you can choose from a collection of online photos and profiles! BUT WAIT! That’s not all! We will come to your town and find friends for you who will LOVE the way you julianne your vegetables and tell you how pretty you look while you do it!
Then I’d buy that shit for sure.