Promises, Promises...

I was sitting here wondering what I’m hungry for this week so I can make a list and go to the grocery store. And of course I’m doing this while watching Tyler Florence on the Food Network. I love him. I think I would love every single thing that he makes. And sometimes I convince myself that I have nothing better to do with my days than hang out in my kitchen and of course! I can make that super-duper labor intensive mediocre-looking meal!  Then I either get frustrated and sad that I’m actually a mom with things that I need to do and a crying baby that interrupts me or the fresh ingredients rot in their bags in my fridge before they become the masterpiece envisioned.

One of those infomercials came on for this fancy-pants peeler. You can use it either way! You can peel a two-by-four with it and then peel a tomato! It comes with a stand so now it’s a mandolin! And now put this attachment on and you make perfect julianned vegetables!

I want one of those infomercials to promise things like: Put on the hose attachment and BAM! your dishes are done! BUT WAIT! That’s not all! We will include a sous-chef that you can choose from a collection of online photos and profiles!  BUT WAIT! That’s not all! We will come to your town and find friends for you who will LOVE the way you julianne your vegetables and tell you how pretty you look while you do it!

Then I’d buy that shit for sure.