Friday, October 31, 2008


So far, this is a dreary, wet, chilly Halloween.  Do you know what we're not going to do today?  We are not going to walk in the Halloween parade on Queen Ann.  Really, I can't imagine anything that sounds more unfun than strolling leisurely along getting a load of all the cute little kids in cute little costumes in the cold and rain and know that Lucy could give a crap.

No thanks!  We'll try again next year when she's older and can get into it.

Halloween has always been such a fun holiday for me.  Growing up, my mom would make our costumes.  I was a Crayola Crayon one year, my brother was a shark (his head poked out of the shark's mouth - such an awesome costume).  Then there was the clown costume and the bear.

One year when he was in 5th or 6th grade, my brother announced that he was going to be the scariest thing he could think of - a barrel of toxic waste!  My dad helped him fashion belt straps to shoulder a metal barrel, and then fixed makeup to look like Mike's face was melting off.  It was pretty awesome.

The only drawback to awesome Halloween costumes was having to wear your coat over the top of it.  Either that or having to think of a costume that would fit over a snow suit.  That's one of the nice things about the moderate clime of Seattle!  No snow on Halloween!  But then again, we get the bone-chilling damp.  I wonder if Lucy will ever have the dilemma of choosing her costume based almost solely on the warm clothes she'll have to pile underneath.

Since we've been together, the Bubba and I have had theme costumes together.  I need to preface this by saying that we have a very unique sense of humor.  I say unique, but maybe I mean weird.  You see, one year we were a plug and an outlet - an easy costume to put together with cardboard boxes and tin foil.  The next year, I was a woman's reproductive system (uterus, fallopian tubes, ovaries, the whole bit) and the Bubba was an OB/GYN.  I know.  I'm kind of embarrassed writing that down for the world to see.  But I made the costumes, and seriously?  They were wicked awesome.  And we got an A+++ for creativity in my mind.  (Even though my sister and mother, and really anyone else that we told about it were very severely weirded out about it and didn't know what to say.  But the people who SAW it LOVED it. I'm trying to justify myself to you - but WHATEVER!  The costumes were hilarious! the end.)

Creativity is paramount for costumes according to me.  Well, this year, I've got nothin'.  We batted around the idea of the Bubba being Dr. Evil and Lucy being Mini-Me and then I'd have my choice of female sidekicks - more than likely being Vanessa Kinsington...  We thought, oh, maybe we can go as a penguin family from the March of the Penguins.  Or since Lucy already has the faux-hawk and AB/CD (get it?  Instead of AC/DC?) t-shirt maybe we can be rock groupies.

And then after all these cool ideas, I assumed that some costumes would just magically appear in our house by the time Halloween rolled around.  And do you know what?  They didn't.

So here it is.  Halloween.  And I have to come up with something by the time we show up to our friends' halloween party this evening without being too awfully LAME. 

I see a trip to the craft store in my near future!

** Updated to add - TRY just TRY to find a SINGLE PIECE of black felt ANYWHERE on Halloween. Go ahead. Try.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

12 weeks

Oh how the time does fly...  My baby is 12 weeks old today!

Cute hat courtesy of Enza!

Life sure does run away with you, doesn't it?  While you're busy rinsing out diapers and gazing adoringly into the (still blue!) eyes of your behbeh...

Lucy's been practicing her laugh, but so far it's a loud catch in her throat.  Also?  She's practicing rolling over.  She'll get to the point where her arm is pinned and her body's at an angle and then she'll freak out.  No more leaving her on the changing table!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Kids today...

Watch out, guys!  And actual post about a topic that actually matters to me!

If you know me, you know my thoughts about Seattle-ites.  On the whole, they are standoffish and a little cold-shouldered, with a liberal dash of don't-talk-to-me.  Being from the Midwest, where you can meet your next best friend at the library or grocery store or bus stop, this is foreign to me.

Illustration:  Once upon a time, I was at the grocery store on May 4th buying chips and salsa and Mexican beer, for Cinco de Mayo of course, and the guy (maybe 30 something, not bad looking) in front of me in the checkout line had the exact same stuff in his cart.  I jokingly told him that it looked like we were having the same party, and maybe we should just combine forces and get a pinata or something.  This guy looked COMPLETELY uncomfortable that I had said anything to him.  I think he grunted in reply.   Sigh.

Illustration:  At a concert in a small bar, the two (quite wasted) people next to me and my Bubba were singing off-key and rather loudly with the performer.  At first, we figured they'd stop eventually... but they didn't.  It got to the point where everyone was basically scowling at these clowns.  I told them to shut up a couple of times, but then they would talk loudly and drunkenly about how awesome this band was.  My Bubba used his diplomatic skills first by saying "Shut the f* up" and then when they were slurring the praises of the band, Bubba said "I know, that's why we'd like to hear THEIR version of the song" etc, etc, etc.... finally they got the point.

 After that warm up band was over and the drunken fans went back to the bar area to reload, about 6 couples and groups around us thanked us for making them stop.  They were IN the situation with us, and decided not to act.  To me, that's shocking.  They'd rather listen to those people sing the whole time than to just tell them to shut it?

My friend Ann had one of these Seattle moments the other day.  Except it was a kind of scary one, and it brings up two questions in my head.

Many coffee shops around Seattle have Adirondack chairs lined up along the side of the building for nice days (few though they may be in the fall/winter).  On one particular day outside one particular coffee shop, the Adirondack chairs were full, my friend Ann having snagged one next to two teenaged girls.

A street person came up to Ann and the girls and asked for money.  Let me also say that this happened to be on Queen Ann - a fantastic neighborhood in Seattle.  Okay, back to the story.  So, this guy came up with a guitar slung over his shoulders asking for money.  Ann and the girls next to her all said something to the effect of "No, sorry."

This guy decided to sit on a planter and play his guitar.  Now, the planter was approximately a foot and a half away from these three chairs - someone in the chair could touch someone sitting on the planter without straightening their elbow.  He sat there and played obnoxiously badly and loudly about cocaine and whatnot expressly in order to make Ann and the girls uncomfortable.  

It worked.  After a little, Ann, ever polite, said, "Listen, I'm sorry, but please go away..."  And the guy (obviously unstable if you didn't get that impression yet) stood up and started screaming at her to the effect of "You f*ing b*, you f*ing b*, you don't like my f*ing song, that's my favorite f*ing song...."  blah blah blah, verbally assaulting and threatening Ann and thoroughly scaring her and the two girls next to her.

I'll make the rest of the story short by saying that Ann called the police who FINALLY came after a while and they took him away.

No one else at the coffee shop did ANYTHING.

There were plenty of people sitting comfortably in those Adirondack chairs watching this scene that just kept pretending to read their magazines or type their memos.  There was a barista safe and sound inside the coffee shop who did nothing.

I guess I can say that the situation wasn't necessarily threatening in the sense that someone was in imminent danger of getting hurt.  I was just a bad situation with an unstable person.

After the fact, a grown-ass man came up to Ann and said "That was intense, huh?"

I'm sorry, what?  This made me SUPER angry.  And I'll tell you why.  Because that man recognized the fact that the situation was awful and intense and didn't have the DECENCY to help her or say anything as she was being verbally accosted by a scary mentally unstable man.  And for a consolation prize, he approaches her AFTER the fact and offers his meek condolences?  Give me a break.

It's just not right.  I feel like if this happened in Chicago, at least someone else would have yelled at the dude to be on his way.  I'm not saying that the chivalrous men in the Midwest would have stepped in and saved the day!  No!  I'm just saying someone else would have at least hollered at the guy from his comfy chair.  Something.

Here are the two questions that come to my mind after the anger of the situation died down.  

First:  is this a symptom of a sick society?  To value staying out of other peoples business so much that you pretend not to notice when someone needs a little support?   Or maybe the fact that people are so comfy in their own little worlds that they've gotten too lazy to step out of it to give someone a hand?  

Secondly, it makes me think of a book my mom was reading at some point (and I apologize, I can't remember the title) about reclaiming masculinity.  This book was considering the subject of men's roles after the feminist movement.  Granted, a woman should be able to take care of herself, but maybe I'm old-fashioned to think that if a woman (in this case Ann and the two teenaged girls) were in some kind of uncomfortable situation that a bystanding man should step up and say something.  Did feminism kill that kind of thinking?  

I don't necessarily think that a man has a moral obligation to protect a woman, as I said, ideally a woman can take care of herself in any situation, but as just a decent thing to do, a man is causing the problem, maybe a man can get him to go away...  This turns out to be a rather frustrating dichotomy, I suppose, for a man.  To get the "I don't need you for anything! Don't try to protect me!" vibe from female society only to be expected to step in for a "damsel in distress." But then again, I would have stepped up in that situation and at least shouted out to make sure that the person being accosted knew I had her back if things happened to get ugly while I was there.  That just seems normal.

What do you guys think?

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Two More FOs

I finished a couple of yarn projects for my friend from church who's baby shower is this weekend.  She's having a baby girl friend for Lulu.

Little booties!

A star blankie

The blankie was actually my virgin voyage at crochet.  I'm not a huge fan of crochet - it always ends up looking kinda "grandma" to me.  Although, I have to admit, my mom crocheted me a kick-butt scarf once.  And this blanket isn't too bad either.

Hurry up, little friend!  We can't wait to meet you.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Ambiguity is One of My Strong Suits

I always tell my study skills students that time can be ambiguous.  Make it concrete by writing down what you do when.  This way, we figure out together some sort of theory of time management that makes sense with them.

So, after a conversation with a colleague, I applied the concept to myself.  I've been Crazy Chart Lady lately.

I figured I'd map out my day and both the Bubba and I could see how much I actually do during the day.  Then, as a bonus, I could see when would be a good time for me to fit in going to the gym, or to rearrange what gets done when in order to have more QLT or more couple time.  I suggested that my Bubba do the same thing, and then we could talk about when/how much Lucy time he gets and make sure he gets QAT for his hobbies too.

I'd love to chart Lucy's napping and whatnot too, but I've actually decided to ignore it.  I DID rearrange her napping a little thinking that she'd sleep better at night if she didn't sleep so much in the morning...  Well, last night she slept from 9:15 to 5, then ate and slept until 8!  That just rocks my world - our days are so different when Mommy gets good sleep!

I would report on how fabulously the time management going, but today's just the first day that I'm applying this concept.  I've been hyper aware of every minute of my day, and so far, I haven't wasted any of it.  It's kinda nice!  Work work, worker bee!  I'll let you know if any changes come of it...

I also made a graph for my Hot By Thirty progress and stuck it up on the fridge.  So that I can see the line with the nice (little) negative slope when I'm not in a very nice-to-myself mood.  Also so that I don't root around in the fridge when I'm not really hungry.  I went through all my clothes.  I put away the maternity stuff, I sorted all the mini skirts and things that are illegal for moms over thirty into a pile to go to the Goodwill, and I have a box of my regular wardrobe with "DO NOT OPEN UNTIL [GOAL WEIGHT]" on it.  That way, I don't have to sift through all the lovely things that don't fit and then get down on myself for not losing the weight fast enough.

I'm on top of things (for the moment)!  HAZZAH!

Friday, October 24, 2008

Shhhh, Sleeping Baby

Good thing you're cute.... 
 Also, doesn't Lucy look really big in this photo?

I know I was just talking about all the sleep I got, but I'd like to complain just a moment about the girl's crazy patterns.  What the heck?  Can babies' sleep patterns change from one day to the next?  Obviously I know the answer is already 'yes' because I'm complaining about it...

So, Lucy's been waking up 2-3 times a night.  If I go in her room to replace her pacifier or comfort her, she invariably wakes up all the way.  If my Bubba goes in there, she will fuss for 30 seconds and go back to sleep.  It became a pseudo argument until we agreed that the Bubba would go in and calm her and if she's still awake after that that I would go in and feed her.  That works out pretty well.

The mystery is this:  the three times wake ups are after a few nights of sleeping through the night.  And then last night, she slept from 10 until 5 (totally awesome, I'll take it!) and then voraciously ate her fill, went back to bed and IS STILL ASLEEP.  It's 9 am.

Lu's current state

I don't understand how I am ever going to have any kind of routine.  Sigh.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

What a Difference!

Holy moly - I went to sleep at 10:30 last night and woke up at 8:30 this morning!!

I have been complaining to the management that waking up with Lu has been wearing me down.  It's been three times a night for the past few days - granted some of the times if I just plug her pacifier back in, she usually goes right back to sleep.  But even so, three times is at LEAST two times too many.  The Bubba and I used to share wake-ups, but in the last 4 weeks, he's had a lot going on with work, yadda yadda, and we just got into the routine of me taking care of nighttime things.

I was just thinking the other day (because I joined some fun groups that I will tell you about at some point) that instead of having the Bubba take over for the two hours I'm at a meeting, I should have him take Lucy for two hours while I sleep!

Well!  Last night, the Bubba must have grown super hearing powers because he woke up and took care of the baby before I even realized that she was awake (she cried a little when he put her back to bed).  And THEN?  He took care of her for the morning feeding too!  It was like being on vacation!!  And I got to sleep!!  I love sleep.  If it were a person I would marry it.

On to Lucy updates complete with photos that I promised Grandma (hi Llama!).

It still floors me that from one day to the next this little person changes so much. (btw- I DO change her outfit every now and then, I just HAPPENED to take a bunch of these photos yesterday especially for this post.)

Playing in her crib

Lucy likes to chat with the quilt on her wall and have deep meaningful soul-bearing conversations with her friend the monitor as we change her diaper. We named him Paul. I think he likes her because she laughs at his jokes.

Oh, Paul, you're so funny!

She loves having conversations with us.  She has a whole repertoire of noises now.  She says "heureux" most commonly - she's really good at the guttural sounds.  She also says "eller" every now and then.  Some "looooooo" and a "naanaaanaaa" for excitement.  But mostly, her dialogues are full of ehhhh-oooo's and oooo-aaaaah's with the occasional ccccckkkkk thrown in.  Like I said, she's guttural.

Talking to Daddy

Last Sunday Lucy passed out on our bed while I got ready for church. She's sporting her brand-new big-girl shoes. Also? She peed all over everything possibly as I took this photo and I had to do a quick change of EVERYTHING she was wearing and we were late for church:

Crashed out

Lu's started to watch her hands and grab at her legs and feet on the changing table. So funny to watch her confusion as her hands go by...

Watching the fist very intently.

The Chub!

Lucy has also started to reach out for our faces as we talk to her, or swat at her toys:

Commere, bunny!

And since all of you are OH! SO! CURIOUS!  A photo of yours truly sporting my new haircut:

My new 'do...

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Layers and Bangs

The other day I couldn't stand it any more.  I needed a haircut.  My hair is long and super thick and it was breaking with the weight of itself.  Pair that with the post partum hair loss, and I had a halo of short hairs all over my head.

I was walking to the library and went right past Rudy's Barbershop.  I thought, what the heck, I'll give it a try.  I'm tired of paying $50 for a haircut.  So I walked in and put my name on the "first come, first served" sheet and waited for my turn wondering which of the three tattooed men would cut my hair.  A mild-looking twenty something with hair the same length as his beard stubble called my name and invited me to sit in his chair.  That's when I started getting a little nervous.  He asked what I wanted done, and I laughingly told him to make me beautiful.  That's when he started getting a little nervous.

I was too short to see myself in the mirror above the shelf on which Winston kept his combs and scissors.  I'm so used to going to fancy salons to get my hair cut that this was like stepping into a foreign country where I didn't know the customs and language.  We went to get my hair wet in the basin and as I laid back with my head in the sink, Winston sprayed my head with lukewarm water.  His hands clumsily maneuvered the nozzle around my hair every once in a while spraying in my ears or my eyes.

When we went back to his chair, I nervously tried to start hairdresser conversation.  "So, what's your story, Winston?  You from Seattle?"  


Ok, then, this is not the place to talk about trashy prime-time TV.  Hm.  I tried to relax a little.  The alternative music was turned up just high enough to be prohibitive to chit-chat. Winston tugged at the snarls in my hair with his comb spraying water everywhere.  I studied his colorful tatoos that covered every inch of skin showing on his arms.

What am I doing here?

He sprayed my hair with leave- in conditioner, and parted it.  Then, he took long sections of hair from either side of my part and cut it.  Short.  About 4-5 inches shorter than the rest of my hair.  I closed my eyes and repeated to myself "If it sucks, I can get it fixed."

The walls of Rudy's are plastered with pictures.  I was studying them intensely while I repeated my mantra when I realized that most of these were of artsy pictures of topless women, or with pasties, or black and whites of just bodies, or anime style drawings of women.  Recommence the uncomfortable nervousness.

Oy, what am I doing here?

Winston took sections of hair at a time and combed them out to cut.  The long pieces of wet hair slapped my face as he combed through them.  He made the short part sections blend in with the rest of my hair.  I realized that he had just cut the shortest layer first.  Are the women at fancy salons trained not to cause that kind of panic in their clients?

When he was done cutting, Winston didn't ask what I thought or how I felt or anything.  He simply asked "Do you want me to blow it dry?"  Me and my uncomfortableness said "No thanks."  And I paid and left.

I still hadn't really seen my head since I was too short to see myself in the barbershop mirror.  I walked home very deliberately trying not to panic over the state of my head.

But, the result?  Not so bad.  I'm not sure I'd do it again?  But I kinda like it.

And since I don't have a photo of my new 'do to post here, I will leave you with some Lucy cuteness:

Smile for the camera!

Friday, October 17, 2008

All Day Thing

Getting out of the house is a huge process.  In fact, leaving the house to do much of anything is an All Day Event.  For example, today I have a lunch with some girlfriends I haven't seen in ages.  One hasn't met Lucy yet, that's how long it's been.  

I have to start getting ready to go as soon as Lucy gets up.  We usually start our day around 7-7:30.  

I try to make sure that her nursing schedule is going to coincide with times that I can actually nurse her.  Meaning I have to be sure she won't be hungry while we're in the car, in a super crowded restaurant in the U District at lunchtime with people that don't have kids and don't want to watch a lady nurse, etc.  Before, I would just nurse her before I left regardless of when she just ate, but I found that that screws with the afternoon "schedule" (such as it is) too much.

So, Lucy has first breakfasts at 7:30 or so, she had a bath this morning (so I can present her all shiny and clean and smelling like baby to my friends!), and she's now napping.  Now it's my turn.  I have to eat, (blog) shower and get in some sort of going-out-in-public shape myself and this is the nap time to do it.  

Then Lucy'll wake up, have a change, second breakfasts, and then we'll start the process of gathering whatever we'll need for our outing.  In this case, change for the parking meters, cash for lunch, paper diapers (because cloth diapers are such a pain to lug around - they're HUGE and I never want to deal with rinsing out poopy diaps in a restaurant bathroom.  Just not good mommy sense), etc, etc, etc.

I was thinking the other day, that if we were on our parents' schedules, well, besides the fact that we'd have 2 or 3 kids by now, we'd be pregnant with our next in the not-so-distant future.  How in the world is that even feasible?   How in the world would I ever get out of the house with two?  The planning alone would kill me.

I'd have to start the process the night before.

Thursday, October 16, 2008


I went to play at a community center play room with Carrie and Ethan this afternoon.  So fun!  And I'm totally going to be a regular there in the dark damp winters of Seattle.

When I got home, this was waiting for us:

Return address is Sweden!

I LOVE GETTING PACKAGES!!!  Even if they're not for me.  A few months ago, my Bubba was putting our passports away in the safe, and he took out some Kroner.  The Bubba did a fellowship in Sweden in 2004-2005.  You know, dorky engi-nerding stuff.  I went to visit him for a month before I started my job in France that year and rode his second hand military bike all over the area. 

Anyhoo, I digress...

We could have gone and exchanged it at the bank or airport or whatever.  But we thought it'd be more fun to send it to our friend Anders in Sweden and have him pick out something for baby Lucy.

And he did!

Whee!  Presents!

Check out the loot!  She got a Pippi Langstrumpf backpack, a book, and a Sverige sweatsuit.  I'd say she scored big!

But the best part I think?  Is Anders' sense of humor.  He's wicked funny and good at making great puns and jokes in English.  I'm jealous mostly because I'm not nearly as witty and English is my first language.

He writes:

Can you read it?  I'll transcribe it (you don't need to look for your glasses):

Hi Lucy!
Congratulations on your choice of parents.  Remember to treat them with love and respect, and they will serve you well for many years to come.  Should you ever loose control of them you can always lie down and scream.  I've found that trick very helpful myself.  Although in recent years it havn't always been that successful...  Best wishes with your new parents!

PS. You should start by telling them not to read your letters


Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Fashion Show

My little Gigantor (as Daddy likes to call her) already fits into a bunch of the sweaters I knit for her when she was growing in my belly!

Work it, girl!


You totally rock the tomboy look, girl!

I can't believe she's this big already.  She's solidly in 6 month clothes.  I made these sweaters thinking that they would last a while, and at the VERY LEAST fit her in the wintertime.  

It's a little sad that these will fit her for all of two minutes before she busts out of these too.  Good thing I have a couple of 12 month/24 month sweaters waiting in the wings.  We might need to get those out before the winter is over.

What is this rag I'm wearing?

Monday, October 13, 2008

Whadda Weekend!

Well, maybe whadda day we had on Sunday!  

Lucy expressing her excitement (yawn!)

We went to the pumpkin patch to pick out some fall cheer.  We went with two other families who have kids of an age to actually enjoy walking through and picking out pumpkins, so it was really great to watch them experience it.  

It's amazing how un-kid friendly a pumpkin patch can be.  Especially for the walking neophytes.  Every other step was a faceplant, and it stopped being fun within the first 5 yards into the field, and then moms and dads had to pick up the kids and work at not tripping themselves.

Enza tottering

Gus picking himself up for the hundredth time

The farm that we went to was set up to have all kinds of activities for all different age groups.  They had a petting zoo and a huge corn maze, a little putt-putt course, a bouncy blowup thingy, booths with all different kinds of fried foods and live music.  

I had roasted corn for lunch, the Bubba had a fried dough treat, and we got to sing along to some bad country songs and impress our friends with how many country lyrics we actually know! 

Mean old parents that make Lucy sit on 
the cold ground for a cheap photo op.

Good thing Lucy's got a friend in Enza to sit with her!

And a good time was had by all!

Saturday, October 11, 2008

My Husband Does A Lot Of Things Really Really Well...

... fashion coordination may not be one of them.

Daddy dressed me!

Friday, October 10, 2008

Diapers Diapers Diapersdiapersdiapers

Guess what I got today??

A rather large box of very pink cloth diapers!

Whoo hoo!  Party in Lucy's pants!

Ever since about the halfway point of my pregnancy, I've been debating and vacillating about whether to use cloth or paper diapers.  Disposables are awfully easy.  My sister used the flat cloth diapers - the kind you have to fold to fit the baby and secure with diaper pins and put plastic pants over - and that was no biggie.  So I figured, with practice using those, I couldn't go wrong with the all in ones.  And so far?  I lurve them.

I considered a diaper service that's close to us, but decided that it's not really the way for us to go.  First of all it's kinda spendy.  Not like can't-afford-it spendy, but more like do-I-want-to-part-with-something-else-in-my-budget? spendy.  And as easy as it would be to just keep dirty diapers in a bag and have someone else wash them, I could just as well keep dirty diapers in a bag and then wash them myself.  So I'll be doing a load of laundry a day instead of every other day.  Big deal!  As a friend pointed out, it's good thing we live in Seattle and water is cheap.

I think we've spent about as much money on paper diapers in the past two months as I spent on this first wave of cloth.  And the nice thing is that they'll fit her until she's potty trained (unless she keeps growing at her current speed which is unlikely - or unhealthy, one might question her pituitary function...).

Then there's the garbage question.  I am so thrilled that we won't be throwing away 18,000 bags of diaper garbage each week.  I mean, there are a ba-zillion babies in the US that wear paper diapers.  We could build an entire new continent with the waste disposables generate.  We could call it Shit Town like the Live song.  'Course I think they were talking about York, Penn... 

So, I am pretty self satisfied, smugly sitting here doing my part for the earth and for our budget, and admiring the HUGE boo-tay these diapers give my girl.  It might only last until tomorrow when I have loads of poopy laundry to do, but I'm not thinking about that right now...


Wednesday, October 8, 2008

What Happened When?

Parenting alone sure is lonely.  So many snaps for single parents.

My Bubba is in San Diego for a few days.  His new building site is there, and he's meeting with architects and owners and telling them all about the structural side of things.  In short, he's having intelligent conversations in meetings, eating delicious food, and sleeping in a cozy boutique hotel in downtown San Diego.

Sounds an awful lot like vacation to me.

I talked to the Bubba last night after all his meetings and whatnot, and he was telling me all about his fun busy day.  Then he asked "what did you do today?"  And really, I could only think of two things that I had done.  I went to the pediatrician and I went to the grocery store.  I even bought myself some sushi so I wouldn't have to cook dinner for just myself.

I swear there was a morning in there somewhere.  During which I did something other than sit and stare at the wall.  But really, nothing came to me.  I imagine that I changed some diapers and fed Lucy and played with her and put her down for naps.  Because that's what normally happens.  But I couldn't think of one specific thing that happened.

No wonder the time flies.  I have entire chunks of days that I've blacked out on.   The routine is so ingrained now that I don't even have to think about it most of the time.  I just feed the baby and play with her and put her down for a nap, do the dishes (or laundry or whatever task is at hand).  Over and over until my Bubba comes home.

I suppose that's the main reason I have this blog, right?  Otherwise I would have no proof that these days even existed!  I need to make sure I document all the fun little anecdotes to prove that I actually do things and experience things.

Lucy just gets more and more fun with her smiles and giggles and coos.  She even makes sounds that sound so remarkably like words that sometimes I have to stop and look over at her to make sure ...  The other day we were jabbering at each other on the changing table, and I asked "Oh, doesn't that feel nice?  To have a clean bum?"  and without a pause she said "nooooooo".  Clear as day.  Hilarious.  And then I scared her with my loud laugh.

Also, on week two of Hot By Thirty, I would like you all to know that I have lost two pounds.  We're going slowly in the right direction.  I think that as the blackout routine with Lucy, I do the same thing with eating.  Just go through the motions and don't really stop to think about what I'm doing.  Some days I'm super on the ball, and I have meals and healthy snacks planned out for myself.  Others, I eat peanut butter on a tortilla because that's the quickest thing I can find and I'm starving because it's 2pm and I've forgotten to eat yet.  And then that is followed by whatever else I can grab...  Anyhoo, I am slowly trying to get myself out of the instant gratification grab and gnosh habits I got into while I was pregnant.

I don't want to slip into the coma of routine every day.   I imagine that's so much easier said than done with an infant.  Take today - it's already noon, and I didn't do much except eat breakfast today.  Of course I did get dressed and get Lucy dressed.  

Ah, little victories.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Lucy Is A Rock Star

Lucy had her 2 month check up with the pediatrician today.  Everything's looking good! 

She is 24 1/2 inches long - which is more than the 95th percentile.  And the doctor caught me calling Lucy "my fat little friend" which is one of my favorite pet names for her.  The doctor made sure to point out that she is very weight/height proportionate.  She's only 90th percentile for weight, so she's a tall skinny thing (except for her face and chins, of course).  I was joking with the Dr. that she has grown out of all her 3 month clothes, she's now wearing the 3-6 month clothes, except that I have to pin the pants in at the waist so they don't fall off of her.  I wonder which side those genes came from?

Hopefully I'll remember to stop calling her my "fat little friend" and my "porky baby" before she will need counseling for it...

Lucy also had some vaccines today.  But these shots?  SO not a big deal.  Lucy and I are totally over needles.  She cried for like 2 seconds and then we just got on with life.  We were both all, What? It's not a spinal tap?  Pshaw.  That's nothin'.

And since Lu is two months old today:

Friday, October 3, 2008


I've been doing some soul searching because it seems to me that my love tank isn't quite full and that means that something's not working quite as well as it should.  I'm not really sure what I expect from my Bubba, but there's just something missing...  I've just had to figure out what that something is.

And that something, I have decided after much reflection, is that being a mommy is hard ass work and I'm tired.

My day involves being at the beck and call of a thirteen pound human, and between meeting her demands, I am trying to make a nice house and nice meals for the other human that lives here.  At the end of the day I'm so exhausted from all the pressure I'm putting on myself to make sure that my family's happy that I get sad!

The antidote that I've come up with? QLT - Quality Lizzie Time.  It's been about two weeks since I've come up with this plan to make myself happy by doing little things for and with myself.  But it's so much easier said than done.

And there's a certain amount of guilt that goes along with it too, isn't there?  I mean, today I decided to take a long hot shower and shave my legs instead of doing the dishes.  Yeah, the shower felt really nice, but dang! those dishes are still there waiting for me.  And what if they're still sitting there when my Bubba gets home?  I'll be embarrassed that I was so selfish to shower instead of making a nice clean kitchen.  (Have I mentioned before that I'm kind of a clean freak? ESPECIALLY with the kitchen)  

That's just something that I'm going to have to get over, because my Bubba couldn't care less about whether the dishes are done when he gets home or not.  But my point is that there's always something to do.  And how do I keep from not feeling guilty about making myself a higher priority than some other things around there?

It's super easy to make excuses not to do nice things for myself.  I would go to the gym, but Lucy might get hungry while I'm gone (regardless if there's a pumped bottle in the fridge) or she might cry and be crabby for my Bubba after he's had a long day at work.  Like somehow everything she does is my responsibility...  I'd love to be able to just let it be, but it's really hard.

I'd like to start going to the gym and taking care of my body to go along with my Hot By Thirty diet.  I'd like to run a 5k with my Bubba at some point in the not-so-distant future.  I'd like to go to Sephora and smell all the perfumes.  I'd like to get on my road bike before the weather turns to crap for good.  My over-thinking brain makes me go over a thousand and eighty scenarios of what things might look like if I go off and do something.  What if, what if, what if... 

This week I started volunteering with the youth group at my church.  It's a fun, cute group of kids, but I could NOT stop thinking about how Lucy was doing at home with my Bubba.  I didn't call (thank you very much) but I wanted to!  It turns out they had a fabulous time hanging out and I shouldn't have worried.

That was the first step.  I'm going to call and make an appointment for a massage.  And then in a couple weeks, a haircut.  I'm no good to my baby if I'm not a happy mommy, right?  So, I have to put aside all the excuses and just start a QLT regimen.  

Who knew it would be so hard...

Thursday, October 2, 2008


My Bubba is having a no-good-very-bad day today.  When he called to vent, my support was to tell him to just come home.  Not the best advice - I wish I had some sort of positive spin to put on his bad day.  So instead of blogging about something worthless and boring all of you anyway, I will bring home to him.  Lucy and I are on a mission to go downtown and cheer him up.

How can you NOT be happy when you see this?

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

I'm Gonna Be Hot By Thirty

I'm so ready for this week to be over, and it's only Wednesday.  I've been sick for over a week now with this migrating grossness.  First it was muscle sensitivity and a headache.  Then it was just a headache.  Then it was a sore throat.  Now it's all settled in my chest.  I'm ready to feel normal, for the love of all that is holy.

Add to that the fact that my Bubba has a deadline coming up for work and has to do about 4 weeks worth of work by tomorrow.  He's been leaving for work at around 5 am and coming home around 7 hungry and tired.

Add to that a baby that doesn't want to be left alone or won't let herself sleep for more than 30 minutes at a time and wishes she had a personal entourage because she's a rock star with everyone but me right now.

Also, just to shake things up a bit, I started Hot By Thirty.  This is Maggie's genius idea to lose baby weight and get in shape by the time we turn 30 next year.  That gives me until May and while I will not tell you just how much I weigh, I will tell you that Lucy left behind about 30 pounds that she was supposed to take with her.  And the weight isn't hanging out in my legs/hips/thighs - it's entirely restricted to my belly and milk factory - I look a little like a marshmallow on a couple of toothpicks.

I've never really had to diet - outside of pregnancy, my weight has fluctuated around 10 pounds or so.  I'm not the skinniest girl in the crowd, but I've always been comfortable in my skin.  I've come to accept that my body is as it is.  We eat really healthy, home-made (mostly by yours truly) meals and in moderation.  I pride myself on my cooking skills and our love of tasty fresh ingredients.  

So it's hard to break the nasty habits I formed when Lucy was begging for that ice cream in utero.  I ate everything I wanted.  I mean, who was I to deny my fetus the frosting-filled doughnut she wanted so badly?  I figured that as long as I stayed active (and I did) that things would melt off when they were supposed to.

5 weeks after giving birth, I had my OB checkup and weight check and I had dropped 22 pounds from pregnancy.  My OB congratulated me, but I was all "wasn't like 15 of that baby and whatnot?"  And then how much of that was water weight?  All the rest?  What I've learned:  pregnancy weight is just weight.  Like any other weight.  

I have friends (and my 100 pound sister is included here) who loses every ounce of baby weight and more mere months after giving birth.  And they try to convince you it's because of breastfeeding.  I am now avoiding you and your weight loss tips.  I'm sorry, but maybe my baby isn't that hungry because my scale hasn't budged an ounce from that last doctor's checkup.  

And now I have 30 friends hanging around my midsection and I have to go on a diet.  And exercise.  Just like any other time.  Sigh.  I was SO hoping there'd be some sort of magic baby-weight melting charm someone would sell me.

Thus begins Hot By Thirty.  I went to the grocery store yesterday and bought all kinds of yummy healthy things with which to fuel my body.  Right now, my main motivation is getting out of my "transition" clothes (read: I JUST HAD A BABY clothes) which includes approximately 4 shirts, two pants and a dress.  I'm tired of wearing the same darn thing every day!

Lets just hope that I can successfully avoid the mid-week sugar breakdown.