Here I sit 7 days before my due date in my once-cute maternity clothes that are now stretched-out stained semblances of what they used to be trying to convince myself that I will be this way forever. Because that can't be worse on my psyche than willing my baby once or twice every minute to head out.
I'm seriously considering not opening my email or answering my phone from here until this little bugger says hello, because I hate people. Well, the people are ok. It's the things people SAY that sucks.
How many times do I need to answer the well-meaning question "How are you feeling?" Just for the record: how do you think I'm feeling? Ok, if you want a real answer, I'm feeling big and pregnant and done. There. Just think about it. And then? STOP ASKING.
Or the people that I tell that I'm a bedbug without an attention span that respond "Rest up! You'll be so happy you did." Or "Reserve your energy because you'll need it." Or "Take advantage because you won't get any sleep in a few weeks!" Or something along those lines. PLEASE! I would kick you in the shins, but it's just too hard to get up anymore.
One thing that I have learned from this last bit of pregnancy (not patience!) is what it means when a woman says "get my body back". As in, "I can't wait to get my body back." As a pregnancy neophyte, I thought that meant "see my feet again" or "lose weight to wear my old clothes." I now realize the very literal meaning of this poignant phrase. I want my body back. I want my body to be MINE again and not cater to this demanding creature that wreaks havoc in the way of stretch marks and constipation and heartburn and general discomfort in her wake!
So that's me...
As far as Baby Tad goes, I had a diet Coke yesterday at "happy hour" with my peeps and I thought she was going to just turn a nose up at the birth canal and bust directly out of my skin a la "Alien." Bubba calls it doing "the waterbed" when Tad parties in my belly - we try to guess the waves of body parts that roll by.
I haven't been having too many contractions this week, which is a little disappointing because last week it seemed I had one once every couple of days. But my doc said today that the cervix is thinning nicely and that I'm a fingertip dilated. I'm glad I know that, but I really wanted her to get her fingertip out of my cervix. Quite uncomfortable.
Now comes the ultimate countdown. The countdown to August 8th. (Why the 8th, you ask? Have you been pregnant before? Obviously not. Well, I set my sights on the 8th because I don't want to count on the 1st and be disappointed. And besides, 08/08/08 would be a pretty cool birthdate, don't you think? And then we can relax and watch the Olympics while we all recover. All good things, right? AND there's the fact that the 8th is when the Mama-a-llama comes to take care of me. Everyone wants their mommy when they go through something like this!)
Only one two more weeks of trying to find things to fill my time!