So, I'd really love to fill this space with deep thoughts of dynamic proportions that inspire interesting conversations and make you chuckle and think "oh, how true!" But there's just no fighting it any more. I must discuss pregnancy.
It seems that when it hit me that I have less than a week to go until my due date, my feelings changed about ...um... everything. I starting having crying fits of weak resolve wailing "What if I can't do this?!" And not referring to labor and delivery. I mean bringing a kid home. I'm scared to death! An infant! In my house! That I have to take care of!
The raging-swinging-polar hormone-induced moods have been pretty awesome lately. One of the Bubba's colleagues that was due the same day as we are had her baby on Sunday. My first reaction was "WAH! WHY HER? WHY NOT ME? WAH!" I've become really good at throwing fits and being grumpy in general.
And these mood swings are only augmented by the fatigue from the random insomnia. I'm still not used to waking up to turn over. It has now become a step-by-step process for which I almost need a guide book.
Step one: decide you are uncomfortable and try to budge.
Step two: wake up because your body does not respond to your effort to budge.
Step three: scoot hind parts so that your elbow can prop up your enormous corpulence.
Step four: as gently as possible, catapult yourself over using elbow as a pivot.
Step five: re-rearrange all pillows supporting said corpulence.
Step six: lay awake for the next 45 minutes at least wondering why if you're so tired you can't just for the love of all that is holy go to sleep.
And yet, the concrete reality of having a baby has yet to set in. At church on Sunday there was an announcement for a volunteer opportunity and I was all "I should do that" and I almost signed up for it before I thought, "oh, wait, I'm going to be having a baby." I shouldn't plan anything for next week because who knows! And then I stood there with bewildered blankness on my face as my brain slowly melted.
Now we've come to the point where I'm really worried about Tad's name. We haven't named her yet. She is nameless and it stresses me out. We do, however, have a list of names that we love and we're hoping that she inspires us to choose one over the others when we see her. I am now doubting all the names we've whittled down to the short list. And I don't trust myself to just come up with something after going through an exhausting labor. God knows, she'd probably come home with a name like Jehosaphat because it had a good ring to it at the time.
So I'm back to poring over the baby name books searching for the possible gem that we overlooked the first time around. The Bubba had the idea to create a poll on the blog and let y'all choose from our short list. I really can't think of a worse scenario. Chances are, I'd end up naming her something that you didn't pick and then feel awful that I picked the name that nobody liked. I can't do that to myself! Gah! The PRESSURE! I keep trying to convince myself that the name doesn't matter so much when there's a cute little person attached to it...
And thus concludes this episode of mindless pregnancy ranting by yours truly. Please send cake.