Thursday, June 5, 2008

Chronicles of sleep

I've always been a good sleeper. My roommates in college called me  a "sleep whore" because I just couldn't get enough. I've always needed at least 8 hours of sleep each night, and most nights more like 9 hours or I just can't function.  When I had to get up early for work, I would go to bed at 9:30.  I'm not sure why my body is that way, but there you go.  

In December when I first found out I'm pregnant, I was exhausted.  There were a few times when I would sit down on the edge of my bed to put my shoes on and wake up slumped over with a crick in my neck two hours later wondering where the hell I was and what was going on and who slipped me the roofie.  Some nights I'd sleep from 9 pm to 10 am.  Seriously.  

No longer!  The flip has been switched, or vice versa, and I'm not sleeping anymore.  

Now.  Now, I am again exhausted all day long, I go to bed at 9 pm, I'm up at 12 and then at 1:30 and then Baby Tad decides to do her calisthenics at 3 for half an hour, then I have to pee at 4:30 and then I wake up with the Bubba at 6.  Not only are there wake-ups, but the falling back asleep is a nearly impossible task.  I never knew I was capable of lying perfectly still with my eyes closed absolutely exhausted for 30 minutes and NOT sleep.  

I have never had trouble sleeping before, and (obv.) have never experienced insomnia.  I don't like it one little bit.

I go through my days in a fog like a CRABBER on auto pilot.  I feel like I never talk to my husband anymore because by the time he's home and dinner is made, I'm too tired to put words together for a coherent sentence (which, I should point out, Bubba is perfectly content with being such an introvert!).  I keep having to remind myself "Gam zeh ya'avor."

And to add to the crab, it's not even 50 degrees this morning and I had to turn the heat on for Pete's sake!  It's FREEZING.  Boo to you, June in Washington.

On an amazingly positive note, I figured I need a pick-me-up and I scheduled the massage Bubba gave me for my birthday for this afternoon!  So somewhere I'm going to find the energy (inshallah) to make the bed and clean up the kitchen and maybe even vacuum so that when I come home from Habitude, I'll have nothing to do but sit all relaxed and pampered in my nice tidy house.

So I'll have that going for me.  If I can't sleep maybe I can try to enjoy being awake.


Jess said...

I am the same way with needing tons of sleep. This post does not make me feel better about the idea of being pregnant someday.

Enjoy your massage!

Carrie said...

Hope the massage is great!

As for the not sleeping- it's rough, especially when everyone is so "helpfully" telling you to "rest up now- because soon the baby will be here and you wont get any sleep" and you just want to lunge toward them and strangle them...

I viewed it as newborn training. And I think it did make the middle of the night wake-ups a little bit easier.

But it still sucks to be tired and not be able to sleep well. Hope you get some rest soon.