I have had some sciatica pain during this thing they call pregnancy. Having never had nerve pain before, I didn't really know what was going on at first except that it felt like the bones of my right leg and lower back were breaking simultaneously. Let me also say that I will never wish nerve pain on anyone. It's excruciating.
Anyhoo, straight to the juicy story. So I'm lying in bed one night after I had to spend all afternoon lying on the couch begging the Sweet Kiss of Death to pose itself on my moaning-chapped lips. My darling husband had gotten me some pain reliever and a hot water bottle to put on my right butt cheek, and I was just waiting for the pain to subside enough to fall asleep since I was exhausted.
But, of course, before the pain lessened, I had to moan a little. More because I was in absolute disbelief that something could be this painful and there is nothing I can do about it than anything else. So I am trying to express that to my sweet Bubba saying "I am just in so much pain" and "It's just so painful" and the occasional holding of breath to see if breathing actually makes it worse. You know the drill.
My wonderful comforting husband decided to say by way of comfort: "I wish I could be pregnant so I could show you how to handle it."
**Theatrical pause to allow time for the gasps of horror**
I'd write it again, but I just can't even bring myself to. And I won't even describe my reaction, because I'm pretty sure you can imagine it.
This coming from a man who has a sniffle and calls it the flu. From a man that has horrible paralyzing "allergies" that make him blow his nose. From a man who, if I have a cold, has pneumonia. From a man who takes a sore throat like this guy from Man Stroke Woman.
I guess that I will add (mostly because otherwise he will be angry with me and call me "unfair") in very small type down here at the bottom that his intention with that infamous phrase was to lighten the mood with a little humor. I say "ha." I'm still not over it - but I'm slowly getting back at him by teasing him about it mercilessly.